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Annoying Parent Problems
Hey, so I'm an MMA fighter, been training for four months. I am recently grading for my black belt, which would be this Saturday. Before I do, my parents want me to show them my forms that is needed to get my black belt. The problem is I don't feel comfortable doing it JUST for them. It's nothing against them, it's just that I don't like when my parents judge me. They say they won't pay until I show them, but it's really out of my comfort level. What do I do? Thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
If you are under 18, which I believe you are there is not much you can do. You most likely need parental permission to take the classes and they are paying for them.
As long as you are a minor the amount of freedom you have is totally dependent on the amount of freedom your parents wish to allow you. In this instance it appears to me you parents what to see and judge before allowing you to proceed.
When I say judge I don't believe they wish to judge your performance or ability. I believe as any other parent might they wish to judge the overall safety of the program and what moving to the next level entails. This is called good parenting and I and others on this sight will never fault a parent for being good parents and watching out for their children's safety.
Since I sincerely believe your parents will not be judging you but judging the program. My suggestion is you do as they ask. They have allowed you to proceed this far and what some assurances that by allowing you to proceed farther will not be harmful to you in anyway. As a parent that is what I would be looking for.
Just a question: Have you thought to ask your parents why it is important to perform for them? I think you should consider asking them if you have not. I believe you will be surprised that there reason will be close to what I have told you.
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Could it be that you fear performing for them as they have been judgemental in many different situations before? Or is it only a fear that they might do so? I remember when i was a kid that I had many anxieties for no reason related to anything my parents ever did to me. I just had a very bad, negative thoughts and beliefs with no basis in actual experiences. There are many types of anxieties and a person can have several as I had. The one this reminds me of is 'performance anxiety' and a fear of not being able to measure up to what I imagined others would expect of me. I am not there, I dont know you or your parents so I cannot say if this is the issue or not but if it is, then you can't consider the parents annoying. As a parent I feel it was reasonable to want to know before paying for anything if a kid was going to stick with something or not.
What you write here sounds like you need to perform in class to be accepted for that level. It also sounds like you have to pay for the black belt class before even qualifying to be in it. What exactly would they be paying for ahead of time? Are they willing to go Saturday to watch you try out? If they're busy and can't, I can understand them wanting to not miss it and see this as an alternative. But if you fail, I dont see what they would be paying for in the first place. Sorry for being confused on the payment part of your story. Unless your parents are black belt instructors in their past and therefore are a good judge of whether you are ready, I dont see how you would needd to pass inspection with them first before they will pay your instructor to watch you try out on Saturday, unless tryouts are not free??? Please clarify.
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