|
Great advice about nephew!
Hi again! So I had the chance to ask my nephew some of those questions today. I just brought up the movie from last week, and said "so you think the girl on that movie could really beat up you and your dad easy?" he said "oh yeah for sure" and I asked " "you think that would be cool eh?" He said "yup" he didn't seem to nervous so I asked him "what about your friend next door would it be just as cool if he beat you up?" He said "no" with a sour sort of look. Then I asked the "so its better and means more if a girl beats you up?" he made a comment like " yeah if Melanie did then yeah" (his friends sister)
Then I asked him the question "is there a reason why you like the idea of girls being able to beat up you or other boys?" He got a little shy then and shrugged his shoulders and said " I just think it's neat" so I probed a little more and asked "is it because you find them interesting or pretty or think they're better" he kept nodding his head for a few seconds and said something like" I just think they're cooler too" I went on asking if he had any friends at school who are girls, he said he
has some, but mainly the ones who play sports. I went and asked if it would be cool if they or other girls in school beat him up? He just starting smiling and said "Yeah I guess" I could tell he was getting a little bit shy again so I ended it there. Lol He went outside shortly after, but yes it sounds like it could be one of the reasons you have stated for this behavior and thinking. What would be your opinion? Is something common? Thanks again!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Babysitting?
Just think back to when you were that age or even older. Remember how boys seemed to pick on girls they liked...mean prank stuff like putting gum in the girls hair,putting a worm in their hand or worse. Young boys who are just starting to notice girls and half their friends still think girls are icky. They will therefore be embarassed or feel awkward that anyone might have a clue that they don't find girls quite so yucky anymore, like for him, Melanie. He probably doesnt even realize that his line of thinking of having a girl beat him up is just a subconscious desire to have some sort of contact with a girl...it really doesnt matter to him whether others see it as a positive contact or negative contact, the contact in any form is what is desired.
In psychology, it has been explained often that when a parent has a child who normally has always been a good kid, start acting up, not always but most often the child is feeling they arent' getting enough love and attention and quality time with a parent no matter how good they do, great grades, but their achievements never acknowledged, never complimented, etc.
So what the kids do at the age, the only rational conclusion they can come to is to attempt to draw attention by negative behavior. They see the attention and focus the bad kids at school get so they do it too and it works. They get the attention they've been craving and dont care that it is a negative angry response from parents rather than a loving nurturing one.
For where his brain and reasoning abilities are currently at, this fantasy may seem the perfect solution to him, getting any kind of close contact with girls.
The fact the female friends at school are the ones into sports may or may not mean something...but if I were a young boy, I'd feel like I had something more in common with a girl who played sports which is a thing guys like to do. That one thing would make it so much easier to have something already in common and easier to have things to talk about with them. Give him a few years and his fantasies of having a girl beat him up will likely change to fantasies of her hugging him or kissing him.
So is it common? Lets spell it out for what it is, Is it common for young boys just beginning to notice girls to be at a lack for how to interact with them and go to extreme strange antics to get their attention or how they dream of getting their attention? Yes. And this is what I believe he is doing.
]
More Questions: |