|
humorist-workshop
My Boyfriend
I've been seeming this guy for 1 year now. and he has always liked me since day 1. Now. He has a friend who is a girl. I asked him how he met her and he said that theyve talked dating while we broke up (almost 4 months then got together again). He hooked up her SNF my friend together. We went on double dates together. And I've noticed how much they talk to each other. And the way he looks st her.The way he looks at her, the way he talks to her. I don't read their messages but he always texts her. He doesn't talk to bestfrined as much as her.and i know he likes her becsuse she told me. His ex use to text him all the time and he didn't let me read the texts. She use to send him hearts too. I told him to delete her off his Snapchat, she was back on there. He won't even let me touch his phone. But I believe when he tells me he loves me. He knows how I feel about these virls. Yet he just doesn't seem to stop.and its makes me feel like someplete shit. What does this mean ugh
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It probably means that you have a feeling he's cheating on you (which is most likely the case), but you're heart has feelings for him, so you're trying to dispose of the idea. You're probably an amazing, intelligent, beautiful young woman and you deserve better. I know it might hurt to hear this (well, read this), but you'd be better off dumping him and finding a much more respectful person to be with. He's nowhere near being worth your time, milady.
~Mandi
]
ok first off its not taboo or unheard of for a guy to have girls who are friends. my husband of 14 years has females hes known for years and years and i would never think of asking him to give them up unless they legitimately started crossing boundaries and making passes at him. (i mean obvious ones not things that could have been mistaken for passes) thats when its NOT ok and its ok to ask your boyfriend or signif. other to cut back contact with that person or talk to her yourself or talk to her politely, letting her know that your man has let you know that she has feelings for him and while thats very sweet and you understand, the passes shes been making or texts shes been sending have been making you feel uncomfortable. The just see what she says.
Alot of times females will back off if either you or your man will just politely ask them to stop, let them know that the feelings are not returned but that contact doesnt have to completely cut off with them unless they continue to cross boundaries with someone who is "taken" or in a relationship.
its really up to your man to make the judgement call out of respect for your relationship weather or not to continue to allow her to make passes or send what looks like inappropriate messages. You should never make demands that someone needs to stop talking to their friends, thats controlling and its a form of isolation because your insecure as a person that you dont have what it takes to hold onto your man on your own around other females. HE should want to distance HIMSELF from them out of respect for you and if he isnt then hes not worth being with.
my husband NEVER asked me to stop talking to any of my male friends, and i am a former hot topic/betsey johnson model ok? but i told him out of respect for him and our relationship that if they EVER made any passes or tried to do anything he felt uncomfortable with and could give me GOOD REASON, that we could talk about it and i would consider it in MY CHOICE to end the friendship or not. did you read that last part?? MYYYYYY CHOICEEEEE. two very important words there.....because thats always what it should be.
ive ALSO been on the other side of this coin where ive had good guy friends i knew since childhood cut me off because their dumb insecure girlfriends were jealous and or didnt like me even though they didnt know me. Even though i NEVER made passes at them because i was already married to my husband. funny how people judge so easily huh?? lol
in the end here, you need to have a serious talk with him, let him know that its not that you mind him having friends who are of the opposite gender (because you honestly have no right to ask someone to end all ties with people they knew before you were around) but that its the simple fact that shes continuing to make passes at you. this will let him know that she is now under your radar, and you can watching closely so if she pulls anything you can choose to end things with him.
if after youve talked to him seriously about this and he will not stop then he doesnt respect you or the relationship, isnt serious about it or your future together and you should just walk away. Its better that you find out sooner rather then later that hes an asshole.
good luck sweetie ; )
]
More Questions: |