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humorist-workshop
Why does everyone hate me?
Long story short.A list. :
No one likes me
I have no friends
I'm an outcast
My dads gone I haven't seen him in 4 years :(
Everyone at school makes fun of me,they take my seat at lunch and tell me to sit some were else.
No one gets me
Everyone ignores me
Noons likes talking to me
I got stuck with the name 'Nadia'
I'm not normal
I'm not normal looking
I sound weird
Everyone makes fun of me
I have no one to rely on
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Want to answer more questions in the Work & School category?
Maybe give some free advice about: School?
I have no idea why you don't like Nadia. It's a beautiful name. If you dont like it however, then when an adult, you can legally change your name. I've known a few who have actually done it for reasons other than not liking it.
Lets forget for just a minute that you feel left out, hated, disliked and abandoned and imagine that you are confident instead.
As a pretty normal person, who would you be attracted to when entering a room that held only two people, the one who hangs their head, stands slumped over, wont make eye contact, is not talkative, won't acknowledge you or speak a word or would you be more attracted to the person who looks at you and says Hi and smiles when you enter the room. Most humans always gravitate towards the more open confident friendly type to have someone to talk to. The other looks like too much word to get them to be confident enough to even say Hi. tHAT my dear, is human nature.
I do understand that sometimes there are life situations that come along that can temporarily affect us that way. It happens to all of us. But another thing that is pretty common when we're young and growing up is to want to feel accepted and loved. You get that first from family before getting older and then beginning to make friends. If something happens where you lose one parent either due to their choice of just walking away or even due to death from illness or accident, a person can feel robbed, and especially abandoned. and I am willing to bet that your problems with how you feel about yourself and feel how others will always treat you, started 4 years ago or at the point that Dad initially left.
Yes, it sucks. But often, we can't do anything to change that fact. Kids and teens are impressionable and think automatically if a parent leaves, or they divorce that they caused it cus there is something wrong with them, lacking in them. When no, that is not the case. It is incorrect thinking due to the fact their brains wont be fully mature and able to even have a faint clue or understanding of this until they reach age 25 or later when the brain is fully mature. And so, beside the normal kid and teen anxiety we all go through growing up, you have this other burdon of not feeling worthy on top of it, even if you've never voiced those words while awake and conscious, it resides in your subconscious mind.
Now a bit of simple psychology to explain why your subconscious mind is at the root of all your problems and how to fix that.
All our emotions reside in the subconscious mind, good and bad, like happiness, sad, anger fear, etc.
So you can understand why I say so, think of a book or movie that made you very angry at the character or so sad you cried. Your conscious mind knows they are just actors and that scene didn't really happen but your subconscious mind is sucked into the story and views it as for real and will make you react with emotions. This is the problem, the subconscious misunderstanding or taking for real the things you dwell on the most. For you, perhaps it didn't bother you initially when Dad left, but your subconscious felt it and began to eventually make this feeling known to you by making you feel less confident, unworthy , that no one likes you or actually hates you.
I hope this isn't too much for you to understand.
But the truth here is that our inner child also resides with the subconscious and like a child, our sub. mind often takes actions that really aren't in our best interest as a person. It takes reall hard work with your conscious mind of keeping your sub. mind in line. So for one example, when the thoughts come, no one likes me cus they won't let me sit with them at lunch or wont talk to me, they are not the problem. Yes there are bullies in todays world. So you will come across one or two in your life but for every single person to be treating you so, thats not how most people would initially react. Most likely follow the examples of the few who dont get you, or understand why you are so 'in your own little world' and you're too much trouble to reach out to so they ignore you. Yes, thats a natural response in humans. It may not be the best behavior but its very common with young people. And the majority of them would not act this way if not given some reason to do so and pick on you. Do I sound like I hate you too, and am blaming you for everything. No. I am not, I know you don't realize that there are things you can do to improve the situation, and its important to make you realize that you are the answer to your situation as far as how people will see you and interact with you in the world, even far beyond teen-hood, but as adults.
I am not talking garbage and being negative because I used to be in your spot. I had both parents, no traumatic events in my past but my mom was a shy quiet person while Dad was outgoing and self confident and talked to strangers. Mom even as an adult had no friends. Only people that Dad brought home for her to meet. She was my first impression of what was normal as I spent more time with her. So I ended up going to Kingergarten so shy, self conscious with so much anxiety, that I couldnt bare to go to front of class to use the sharpener for pencil thinking it would make others stare at me and I couldnt bare having all those eyes on me. My behaviour continued thru the lower grades and though the younger ages still made friends with me, by time kids got older, it wasn't any fun anymore to try to drag me out of the closet in which I hid myself. (not literally, just by not being responsive and fun and outgoing) It was painful for me as I began to be teased by kids. I found even when people werent serious, I no longer had an idea if they were teasing or not. I limped along lucky if I made just one friend, and only because she talked to and approached me first. I usually opened up and was friendly and responsive in return and in every situation, I only got more than the one friend because she introduced me to her other friends who accepted me as well. this helped a little so that I didn't feel so bad about myself but I still hadn't changed my behavior so even in HS i had teens who formed a chain across the hall not allowing me to pass on to my class or pushed me or called me terrible names. I didn't think I looked nice, I had to wear glasses and yes, I knew I sounded weird too. My reason, my tongue was held too close to bottom of mouth by an anchoring skin, I learned German as my first language from Mom so my english had the accent plus the common speech problems of lisping and not pronouncing r's and l's and others right. I had things knocked out of my hands and so on...pretty much as miserable a life as you say yours is. What did I discover as I grew older, that I was the cause of it all. Yep I can say that and I changed that. Sr year in HS, I was sick and tired of being so shy and anxious, I prayed and asked God to help. He gave me homework to do. lets call it life work tho. Every day I was to do a little something to help me gain self confidence and come out of my shell at a rate,or pace that I was comfortable with. By the end of my Sr. year, I was starting conversations with others, was well liked and admired in the church youth group I had joined and continued on to learn and grow and refine my behavior even into my thirties when I had kids already. there was always some small lingering thing for me to work on. So I know its possible to for life to change around drastically even though you cant see it, simply because I've done it. If I was that same perosn, I wouldn't feel worthy or confident enough to be here on Advicenators writing this answer to you. Its not easy to begin and make the first step, but there are ways you can do things to help your own transformation, not of becoming someone different but from deciding to come out from beneath the basket or blanket or out of the closet you've been hiding in.
This probably isn't what you wanted to hear and this involves work on your part. I'd be glad to have you write me for on going support help and actual suggestions on what you can do or get feedback what you could have done to make an event/situation go smoother. But I am no professional. Just an average person who did it myself. If you would rather ask Mom or school counselor to get you hooked with with a professional counselor, then thats good too. Some want to figure it out on their own, Others actually need the guidance of a counselor.
Don't do nothing cus you'll cus continue to be miserable. And in this day and age, with young people it often ends up with getting severely depressed to point of self harming as in cutting and doesnt help or they commit suicide which didnt solve the problem, they just opted out of life. Do something, reach out and ask for help to become more confident. Giving us your list here is a start but you have some real work ahead of you that you need to do to begin to see improvement in your life. Sorry this was so long but I really care cus I do understand, Ive been there so I have a heart for this and wanting to help best as I can.
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