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I'm a freshman and I don't know if my senior prom date likes me or not.
So... I'll give you a bit of background information. I'm fifteen year old girl, a freshman in high school. My friend is a senior, abd he's seventeen, nearly eighteen. I'm going to prom with him-just as friends. I quite like him, however, and therefore would prefer it if he liked me in return. He's smart, nerdy, sweet, and cute, and I've liked him pretty much all year. A friend of mine told me at some point that he might like me, but I have no idea. He jokes around with me a lot, like he and I will race to see who's first getting to academic team practice, and I'll take his phone and refuse to give it back, and he'll take my book and tease me for being a freshman. He doesn't really do that with anybody else. He always makes me let him drive me home, even though my parents don't like it, because he says he doesn't want me to walk home. Very paternal. He's made a few comments that could be taken as flirting, but would be difficult to explain out of context. So. How do I know if he likes me? Like, what are some signs that he does like me, whether at prom, or in general? And, if you could further enlighten me, What might be a good way to let him know I like him? Also-please no lectures on age gaps, etc. I shouldn't have to explain myself. I just want advice, not to be preached at.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Just be happy you have a prom date. I went through high school without a single person, friend or love interest, asking me to go to any dance with them. The age gap doesn't matter, 2 or 3 years is nothing. If he asked you to his prom he likes you, no questions asked. He could just be shy and taking things slow.
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Hon, he's given you all the signs already that he likes you and yes they can be that subtle. To help you understand, lets turn the tables and say you were the one going after some guy to talk to, tease and joke with and ask him to walk you home every day. By the very fact that you seek him out like that, he'd think you like him. Would you choose to go after a guy you don't find attractive, or are repulsed by? Point made.
Further signs to look for are again all subtle, body language. When attracted, a person will smile at or look often at the one they like or love, they will find opportunity to be near them and actually come stand in their personal space which means closer than an arms length away. Neither will be aware they're doing this but its a subconscious way our bodys react to the nearness of someone we like or don't like. You will either stay put or step closer to him or if not interested, you will step away to recreate the space between you. Another is finding opportunitys to touch the other person, none intimate ways, smoothing their hair back or picking something off their hair, face, clothes, giving a pat on back, a friendly punch in the arm, etc... And lastly, two who are interested in each other will do something called mi such as: you move to cross your legs and he puts one leg resting atop the other, your hand goes up to your head maybe to scratch an itch, his hand goes up to his head to do something too almost immediately after you, maybe to also scratch but it can be anything, adjusting glasses, running a hand through his hair. It has been observed by professionals in human studies so you can trust all this.
As to what to say to find out how he feels, you don't want to put him on the spot and make him feel awkward or reluctant to give his truthful answer. So if you want to know if he likes you only as a friend, well that's a given already but to know for sure if he is interested in more than friends, don't give away your feeling in the question, that you can do later if he likes you in return. So her'es how you basically phrase it using your own words:
“ Since we get along so great as Friends, I was wondering how we'd do if we were to try being b/f g/f. What do you think?”
It won't feel as awkward, and he won't feel the pressure of a confession of your feelings. If he's been wanting to date you cus he has feelings for you, he'll jump at the offer and say yes. If he answers no without explanation, don't just wonder forever why...Ask right then. Perhaps his parents don't want him with any girl younger than him due to his age, almost 18. They know the draw when two are interested in each other and to date at your current ages would mean having to date and resist the lure to become sexual (which is inevitable at some point) and having to wait 3 years until you are of legal age of consent.
Your parents don't like the attention he's giving you. They don't know him so naturally any parent of a younger teen girl is going to wonder about the attention of an almost 18 yr old male, since the majority at this age are looking for sex first, not a relationship. But I suppose I'm preaching to the choir here, just letting you know as a mom of 3 girls how I felt at that age. I was more open and hip tho than most parents and told the daughters, any guy interested in them is welcome to come visit her at our house where we can supervise, at least until we get a good feel for him and his character. Later if the urge to have sex got too strong, she was to let me know she wanted to get on birth control and I would take her and make sure she always had a supply of condoms for the guy for STD protection as well.
It doesnt even have to be sex as the main concern for parents, but abuse. Does he treat you and your parents with respect or is he the abusive sort. The amount of teen girls in physically or emotionally abusive relationships is on the rise and just as great a concern for parents.
You may want to have a talk with your parents if you find out he likes you the same in return and ask them what their concerns would be if you were to see a guy older than you? Listen to them and try to understand their responses are only out of concern for your welfare as they love you. Then ask them if they would hear you out for a minute with an alternative plan for now where both you get what you want and their concerns are taken care of. Then bring up the idea of him being able to visit you at your home when they are there to supervise until they can get a feel for him. Then perhaps by time he goes off to college, you all can sit and talk again for re-evaluations. What do they think of him now? Do they trust you in his care to the point they no longer need to supervise? Of course, this is only if they go for it. I've actually talked to a couple teen girls on here where that was their situation, the parents let the boyfriend come to their home and grew to love and trust him so much that the girls were allowed to be sexual with the boyfriends but one guy wasnt 18 yet. Good luck with all that!
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