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Two guys asked me out what should I do?
20, female.
I have been chating online and texting with this guy I meet on a dating site for months. We have a lot in common and I googled him to see if he was not catfishing me. He seems to be who he says he is. We plan on meeting soon and I am completely nervous. Recently, at school one of my classmates asked me out. I said maybe and we left it at that. We are working together on a project and I don’t want drama to affect my grade. Also, I don’t feel that it’s okay to say yes when I am seeing someone else. We have not established a relationship status yet and don’t want to lie and say I have a boyfriend already. I plan on telling my project partner about the other guy after the project is over. We became friends and I don't want to hurt him.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Technically, you wouldnt be lying in saying you have no boyfriend. It all depends on what you are comfortable with as a person. Many males will keep their potential dating and relationship options open and see several gals at one if the opportunity presents itself, not on purpose looking for them all at once. Then they make their decision later depending on how well they get along with each and which one they develope strong feelings for. Women aren't usually portrayed this way, just waiting for a guy to ask her out and only choosing one. There is nothing wrong with honesty in telling a guy that you are not currently in a committed relationship...and are keeping your options open as far as seeing guys until you've spent enough time to decide which you have the most chemistry with who feels the same for you and at that point make a commitment. People seem to assume a commitment to be someones g/f, b/y is made by just accepting a date, when that isn't so and that is what causes trouble with jealousy and other such things.
No actual promises made = no commitment.
So you could be honest with both guys if no promise has been made to either and actually see both of them at the same time period until you have enough info to actually make a decision. If you are equally attracted to the looks of both, or personalitys of both, it would make sense to check them both out further. If you want to take this path, then explaining to males isn't usually a problem unless they have a very low self esteem and which case, they are immediately exposed by not liking your terms. Most men actually do not mind at all. I was on a dating site...how I met 2nd husband and I explained to the guy that if I agreed to an appt. to meet them for coffee that I wasn't making a commitment to him. If anyone who seemed to have promise came along, I would meet with and see other guys until I had gathered enough information to make my choice. Believe me, all the men got it and understood. Maybe a young male may not but even at that age, its okay when they're doing the same. So it's really up to you and what you decide to do. In committing to one, if in the long run, you find out there were major hidden issues you can't live with and break it off, the other may in meanwhile have become 'taken' and dating in a committed relationship and no longer available to you as a 2nd option. My personal choice was to see both at once in order to not risk losing an opportunity with either. Otherwise, if thats just not you, make a list of pro's and con's as best as you know them and use it to make your decision. then you tell the other, you've met someone with which you have a better chemistry. No further explanation needed. Guys seem to understand the word "Chemistry" because, although they may not say it or speak it, but its what they are looking for when they meet a girl.
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I say you go on that date or whatever and see how it goes, and if it works out and you individuals become a thing, then great, and just tell the other guy you are seeing someone. If you don't hit it off, however, then I guess you should give the other guy a chance? But I don't think you should tell the guy in your class about the other guy before you two even become a thing, because then the guy will feel like a second choice and may not even want to go out with you anymore, and then if the date doesn't go well, then you lose both guys. But yeah, see how that goes first!
Hope this helps~
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