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I can't love anyone..WHY?????
I had a boyfriend when i was 17 it was my first and we've been together for 5 years then we got married and after 2 years of marriage we got divorced. Now i'm 25 and after my divorce i hadn't been in any kind of serious relationship.. its been like this for two years now and all of them was like im with them for 2 days and the next day my feelings are gone,i can't maintain in a relation more than 2 days and i don't know why?
I want to love someone but something is wrong with me im trying again and again but no vain.
now there's this guy at my work im working with him almost for 6 month, he's a good guy and he takes care of me without any return except my love for him we started something and after 2 days as usual i said to him i don't want you anymore he insisted insisted and i began to feel boredom of him,then he brings some girl at work and i'm all jealous so my friends told me that if you're jealous then u feel something so we started again and today i woke up and it's all gone..now i dont have the guts to tell him all that bla bla again,,im thinking im not a good person anymore i want to runaway but again all im doing is runaway from my problems my past ..i know i have issues but the problem is i dont know what i have ,every morning i woke up with depression nothing makes me happy except my paintings nothing else ,,maybe im not a relationship person but i dont want to be alone,i think the best solution is to go at some kind of physiatrist,i feel lost and my heart always beats fast and im not ok..
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You might want to read about how puppy love skews our perception of feelings. The intensity you felt for your ex husband when you were 17 was at the height of your hormonal intensity. You may not have such intense feelings like those you've had for your husband ever again.
That's not a bad thing, intense feelings weren't enough to keep your marriage going, and lasting feelings of romance aren't the most important thing for a marriage. Look beyond your emotional hue and look at the values the other person brings to the relationship and cultivate friendships that make you feel like a person of worth. You may be overlooking one or many great potential partners because you are immersed in guilt, boredom, and thoughts of the past. You have to find a way to forgive yourself for past mistakes so you can make the right choices now.
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I'm gonna go out on a limb here...it may be that your conscious mind is over him but that your subconscious mind, hurt by the marriage not working out is trying to sabotage your efforts to get back together with a guy to protect you from getting hurt again. It's like having another person inside of you making decisions for you against your will.
If your depression and anxiety (fast heart pulse) has developed only in the 2 years of trying to date after the divorce, I'd say it's greatly possible it's connected to the failed relationships. But you never know, it could also just be that you developed depression at this point in life and that is what's holding you back.
A psychiatrist is the medical treatment of the psyche, and a Psychologist is the science of the psyche. So the choice is up to you who to see as you will need to see someone. I personally am all for exhausting all avenues of resolving an issue first without medication, as that's much like slapping a band-aid on, treating just the symptoms, not the underlying issues causing the problem in the first place. If you want to get at the root of the problem, I'd go with a psychologist although I can't promise it will be covered by insurance, check first.
With a psychologist, you have an opportunity to take advantage of hypnosis if they use that treatment after meeting with you and assessing your problem. Hypnosis goes straight to the subconscious and works with it so that it will no longer fear a new relationship. You could also just see a Hypnotist but likely would pay out of pocket for a visit. I know a coworker who did that to get over a fear and it was gone instantly so I know from her story that it works. If you do have clinical depression and your body doesn't create enough of the feel good hormones inside, then you would need a psychiatrist who is the only one who can dispense a medication. I do know from working as a caregiver with a mentally ill client that at the mental health clinic, she saw both a psychologist who was the one who took the time to talk and listen to and find out what her issues were and give her some solutions, things to try that medication alone wouldn't solve. and she also met with a psychiatrist not as regularly who only asked how the medication was doing for her, if any problems from it, need new one, or change dosage.
So, yes, I'd agree, it's probably best for you to see someone. This doesn't mean you are broken or a terrible person, sometimes it's simply your thought processes that lead you to depression and you need to learn how to better control your thoughts, but that is something that needs to be taught for some and doesn't occur naturally, plus on the low hormone side of things, that's the body you were born with, again, not your fault but Dr.s can help. So go get the help you need dear so you can enjoy life and a relationship.
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