im in a bad situration - abuse - suicide thoughts -please read and give adv
Question Posted Thursday January 29 2015, 4:20 pm
Feeling like my mum doesn't give a damb. I am in agony because of the emotions I have that are because of being hurt by my stepdad physically and emotionally. The pain is geytwto the stage that I won't be able to go to school and will end up back in the shit hole called hospital. It is getting worse every time he's near me and my family. I just can tell if he's near them weather asleep. One minuite I am having a brilliant dream then I wale up in agony and hear del downstairs. I cannot cope much longer and need to get away so that I don't go to hospital for months on end again. I know my family needs him to see them but they know full well I despice what he has done to me for all my life he's sadly been in. I want to leave this world half the time to get away. I feel that my family would rather have me in hospital than at home that that del can come back so I'm going to go and live with my dad before I do either, get out this world or in the shit hole. I've tried non stop to try and get through this with my family but every time I try it is thrown in my face. I've just talked to mum and she I mad at me because she is 'annoyed that I get angry when dels here'. The only people who, even knowing Everything about how ALL the family fell, still don't understand how mum can be wanting del around after emotionally hurting me all my life. All my life mum has always said that if anyone hurts her kids, in any way, no matter what they'll be out her life. But it must be worse that someone that is meant to be there parent hurts a child, especially with disabilities. The only way I can be relieved is on my PS3 or doing it/art. Please if you can give advice on what to do. I've got two sisters who care about del, some how, but hate and blame me for what's going on.
I've told mum everything about how I fell except suiccide and hatmfull thoughts but makes no difference. Social services are involved but don't feel able to talk to them. Please give me advice as I don't know what to do.
alexus21 answered Saturday January 31 2015, 2:18 am: Im sorry for your pain. But as someone mentioned earlier uou need to tell the services. They are there to help you. I understand it can be scary but they deal with alot of families and people who go through the same things that you have gone through. You have so much to live for! Life has it's ups and downs but you'll make it. Please think about talking to the services they can help make your situation better. I hope that you will find happiness. [ alexus21's advice column | Ask alexus21 A Question ]
Dragonflymagic answered Thursday January 29 2015, 10:33 pm: Oh Good God girl, If social services are involved, you've got to tell them! Please! ASAP!
If your sisters are not being treated differently and like Del, then the problem may be that he doesn't like the fact you have disabilities, doesnt want to have to deal with it, or maybe seeing you reminds him of someone or something in his past that was painful so he lashes out. No matter what his reasons, under no circumstances should he be emotionally and verbally abusing you.
I can't say whats wrong with Mum. She just may not have any personal strength/or other ways to say it is lacking guts to do the right thing. A weak person will overlook the bad, lie to themselves that everything is fine, and the love she has for him could be blinding her to his obvious faults. It's not like she wouldn't see that happening in her house, she just doesnt want to rock the boat. I know it hurts to have a parent not care. She may love you in her own way but have some emotional or mental issues of her own that prevent her from being a better parent and protecting you. So if she's incapable of assuring that you are treated well, tell others, social services, your birth father, tell your pastor/priest if you have one, tell school counselors, tell grandparents or other relatives. Don't just tell one, tell them all. I am glad you tried talking to your Mum but for some reason she's not able to be a fully responsible adult. There are lots of people who are born without any ability or patience to deal with people who have disabilities of any sort. That is not right but no one can force them to grow up and do the right thing any more than we can force a person with biases to be accepting of all. But there are advocates for you out there, you just have to say something. Don't worry, Mum won't be in trouble. Most likely if this situation is brought out into the open, this allows officials to try to get her into treatment herself if she has any need of it.
Even if your Dad doesn't have legal custody of you through a divorce, as a parent he can go to a lawyer with his concerns for your well being in that house, especially since it has you so depressed you are considering suicide. Just showing up at Dad if he can't legally keep you, doesnt help you at all. You have to tell him what is going on too. I understand this situation all too well cus a child I know and care deeply about is in the same situation with Mum having custody and incapable of taking care of her and needing the courts to review the case, (thats where documentation from social services comes in and is helpful,) and she needs to go live with her Dad and Dads new wife. Do not keep silent about this dear. God knows and knows you are strong enough to fight this, or you wouldn't have written us to ask for help. I am praying for you but you still need to do something, tell others whats really going on and how it affects you. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
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