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humorist-workshop
My friend
So um my ex that I went out with once...we broke up because of my bestfriend telling me he was talking to another girl..so I flipped out on him and then realized it wasn't true and he stopped talking to me and of course he started talking to my "bestfriend" who by the way is really really easy. A week later they have sex...I confront her about it and she told me the truth of course..I was upset so I went back to hang out with my friends and my 2015 resolution was to cut them out of my life...it worked till our friend died... He started to come around my house and my friends more and lucky for me..my friends hated the bitch so she never came around..recently him and I have become closer,a couple people have told us why don't you guys date? And my stomach drops but I tell them "ew no" or "he's too ugly for me" which I said yesterday and he heard me and smiled and shock his head..a couple days ago I guess he thought I was going to a gathering and I didn't show up and obviously he probs flirted with other girls but at the end of the night he texted me telling me I never showed up..normally he either snapchats me or facebooks me, but it was a text asking why I didn't show up..and yea.last night I spent all day with him shooting guns..and he drove me home leaving my bro with my parents and took my bros friend with us to go to my house and we all had a convo about a really annoying person that he would never hang alone with..so I came back with..you're annoying to sometimes and I still hang around you..his response was " I'm not going anywhere no matter what" and before that he was mocking one of our friends snapchatting both of us..saying you guys should date and he was like " hey! Renee! I guess we should date now because everyone is telling us too" I was like "nooooo"..he tries to fuck girls in our circle but it never happens like at another gathering he would go flirt then come back an hang around me for like 30 minutes also he said he'd take me to the zoo☺️
I'm so confused I'm starting to miss my cuddle buddy but he fucked me over and shit..I like being close to him as a friend but I kinda wanna be more but then I don't . I dont even know what to do..he's there for me, he talks to me. More now
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hmm. You have a group of friends that could get dark later. It might not, but if someone really falls in love with someone or if heavy drugs or drinking enter the picture, or something like shoplifting when you guys go out, there will be major issues, (and drinking, drugs and shoplifting are extremely dangerous issues already without adding drama to them).
See the problem is that at the core, I don't think any of you can trust any of you. The only healthy way to continue to all hang out in peace in the long term is to have open relationships or "understandings."
Just the words, "easy best friend," will inevitably cause you problems throughout life unless you have an open mind about relationships.
In addition, I'm not saying open relationships are the ideal. Most people are happier and healthier with monogamy, but when you want something like that, you might have to change your circle of friends. However, this is not to say that the guy you like won't want to make the change as well along with you.
Also, I see in your flirting with him, you say extremely rude things sometimes. You might be joking but guys need to feel loved and needed. So he might be responding to that. However, if you weren't like that before he hooked up with you bff, then Idk what he's responding to except lust and the extended game of spin the bottle you guys seem to be in the middle of.
If at any time you feel lost and unloved or in danger while dealing with any of these individuals that you now call friends, (though they might change later), remember you can always turn to Christ. There's a website called "Way of the Master," that does an extremely good job of not being preachy and explaining God in simple, practical terms. You can often make better friends in Christian circles like that as well.
Good luck and watch your back.
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Whoa girl, your emotions are all over the place. You need some grounding, something to calm your emotions so you can think through your situation with a clear mind, not letting your emotions get in the way or worse, take the lead. I know you feel hurt and jealous because your girlfriend got a hold of the guy you had first. But take a deep breath and lets look at what went wrong.
We all make these same mistakes until we learn and know better, so I am sharing not to point out your 'bad' but to help you have more successes in your future.
First, you allowed your emotions to take the lead and just plain old 'react', whether justified or not. In looking back now, you can see things would have been quite different if you had not reacted as you did. I don't know what all was in this 'flipping out' you did, but if it involved accusing him of things before he could be proven innocent, he had a right to be upset and stop talking to you while he recovered.
Second, you believed hearsay from your bestgirl friend. Never, ever believe anything someone has to say about someone you are in relationship with, or want to get into relationship with. There's two reason why.
1. The person has good intentions, either trying to play match maker or warn you of something bad about the guy you need to know. The problem is, just as in the party game 'telephone' The original sentence whispered by the hostess into first persons ear, must then be whispered to the person next to her and so on around the circle and you can't ask to hear it again, just share what you think you heard the first time. By the end, the last person got to share out loud what they were told. After passing thru 10 people or so, the final outcome did not in any way resemble the original sentence. I played that as a teen at church youth group gatherings and it taught me a valuable lesson, that the truth can be distorted unintentionally as passed on from one person to another. So when I want truth from a partner, I go straight to him, tell him what I heard, and ask him is it is true or not.
2. Who ever is telling you something has their own ulterior motives, when good, it's wanting to see you in a relationship or when bad, wants to break you up just because they don't like the person, feel your time with the guy takes away from time with her or wants you out of the picture, hoping to break you up so she can have him instead. And yes, the closest of friends you have trusted before can turn on you when it comes to boyfriends. Females are very territorial and do not fight fair.
Is there any question in your mind of whether this guy really likes you? If so, he came back to you after the accusation,he went to a gathering and called you when you didn't show up. That shows interest specifically in you.
Why you think he is flirting with other girls is beyond me, from what you have been saying, you hold him off at arms length, say cruel things to make it seem as if you are not interested. If not dating anyone, he is perfectly cleared to be flirting with other girls if you don't want him. If you do want him, why in hell are you pushing him away? You must have what seems a good explanation in your mind. I'd like to hear it, perhaps then I can help you address some other issues in you that may be contributing to your problems you've written about.
Now, at the party, he goes to another girl to flirt and then comes back to you. I guess you can't see he's using an old trick, to openly flirt with a gal where you can see him, to make you jealous enough that you say something and tell him that you don't want him to go to other girls, that you want him and wont share him. Thats what he wants. I haven't a clue why you havent responded positively to him.
Well, I wasn't there as a silent observer so I can't say you are correct or not, but I have a suspicion that you are making assumptions when you guessed he was flirting at the one gathering but not there, and then believing that he really wants to "fuck" all the girls in your circle. How do you know that, has he specifically come up to you and said so. If so, it's possile he's still trying to get a reaction from you, one that he hopes will have you come to him, become his girlfriend and lover because he's crazy about you or perhaps feels he's in love with you. I am apt to believe that you are the only girl in that circle he really is interested in and wants to love. So, the question goes back to you, what is it that is holding you back? I am willing to talk more with you about this if you have anything more to share in hopes to clear things so you can feel confident moving forwardd with him.
If you write, don't respond with another question on the rating site, I cant answer from there. You'd have to go to my column and write me from there. Good luck.
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Sounds like you have a lot going on! You are in love with someone who hurt you. But I have to tell you a little secret... No relationship is perfect. If you really love this guy then you have to find a way to forgive him and move on from the past. Best way to do that is to sit down with him and have a talk. Let him know exactly how you feel about the situation. Let him know how you feel now. Get it all out and then forgive him put it in the past. But tell him that that kind of behaviour is unacceptable. Then try again if he wants to.
If it doesnt work out or you dont want a relationship with him then you need to stop spending time with him so that you can get over him and move on.
I hope it works out best for you
Good luck!
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