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How to break up with someone and you're his first girlfriend
I've been dating this guy from my class for 1-2 months and he really really loves me, and i think it's because I'm his first girlfriend plus he's really closed up person.
We have been really close these few months, he had his first kiss with me, but as time passes i see that I'm loosing my feelings for him, plus he looks like the guy who's threatening me and he doesn't communicate a lot and I talk a lot, i can talk with days without shutting up, and it bothers me that he doesn't talk a lot and i told him to talk more, but nothing changed.
I feel guilt, and it's killing me a lot, but somehow i know that if i break up with him he'll do something bad to himself and he will get hurt a lot, because i know how much it hurts to someone break up with you.
So how do i break up with him without doing it bad or hurting him a lot?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Obviously no matter how you break up with someone, it will hurt.
I don't know how old you are, but if you're still in school, then tell a counselor if you're afraid of him hurting himself.
But that shouldn't stop you from breaking up with him because that won't be fair to him. So if you really think he'll hurt himself, then tell somebody.
And don't break up with him over the phone or through a note or something.
In person is always best, and not around other people.
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Breaking up always hurt, whether done nicely or badly. It just hurts more and can damage their self image and self confidence if done badly.
Being that he is just starting on the dating experience, he (or you for that matter) may not understand that dating is not about staying with the person until the day you die. Same goes for Marriage these days.
Physical attraction is what usually starts the process, people meet, talk and decide they want to know each other better. So they date. Dating is for checking out the other person at a more in depth level. Sometimes you don't have enough in common or have no chemistry. Without chemistry, the physical attraction will fade over time as is happening for you. Unless we are psychics, there isn't a clear way to know ahead of time if that person will still hold your interest next month, in 6 mos or even up to a yr away. Some of us learn over the years what signs to look for to know if chemistry is there. But for teens just starting, without much previous experience, you just can't know until you actually date and discover as time passes whether you still feel the same of not.
When I have broken up with people, I used the phrase, "I don't feel any chemistry so I am not going to date you any more. It is nothing about your personality or looks, I just don't feel the chemistry that you may feel and relationships don't work if its one sided. Chemistry is the natural pheremones our bodies let off and is something we have no power to change. It also affects which girls you feel an instant close friendship with and why other girls don't interest you as a friend. If you can explain this to him, that it is something he can't change, it should not damage his self image, unless he already suffers from low self images, depression, self harm issues or cognitive disorders, meaning negative type of thinking that bring on all these other issues. He may need to see a mental health professional to get back on track to feeling good about himself if he already has these issues. And it won't be the breakup that could make him flip out, anything of a negative bent could do it, not getting an A or B or a test, not getting a job he applied to, not getting accepted on a school sports team or having anything else turned down. A break up can only show that he has a greater difficulty handling lifes unexpected and disappointments than most of us would. Hope this helps you.
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