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I need help


Question Posted Tuesday December 30 2014, 9:11 pm

im a 14 year old girl. there is this guy i've liked for a long time and we finally started talking in September to october. hHe seemed to really like me too because he would flirt with me and compliment me a lot. We ended up having a fight and we didn't talk for like, a month. And then I texted him in late November and apoligized because i still liked him and I was thinking of him all the time. he acted like things were fine, but then early December he just stopped texting me. I tried talking to him in school, but he kept avoiding me, and he wont answer to my texts or social media tags, I've tried everything. About mid-December I texted him and was like "please talk to me", and I told him how much I liked and missed him. it's almost january and he never answered me back and he always brushes past me in school. I know he doesn't like me anymore and all my friends know he doesn't either. I just moved to a different school now, but I still can't stop thinking of him. I really like this guy, not like any other guy I've liked in the past (where I can just forget about them), even though he's ignoring me. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I know I need to get over him because he's not good for me, but I don't know what to do or how to get over him. I always think I have, but every night my thoughts wander to him and how I wish he just would text me. how do I get over this? please help!

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Soulsisterr answered Saturday January 3 2015, 12:59 pm:
Listen to Ciara - I'm Out

you deserve so much better,
this is a new year, do you and forget about him
you're far too young and beautiful to be mistreated. try and smile girl x

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gummybear18 answered Wednesday December 31 2014, 11:18 pm:
Could you please explain what this fight was?

I can relate to having a crush on someone like that, I liked her a lot but then I was over obsessing so that's probably how he feels. You are obsessed with him.

How do you forget about him? Think of all the bad things that he has done for you and think that he doesn't deserve you and you are better than him.

My girlfriend's brother says he is a big fat ugly banana.

I must sincerely agree with him.

He does not deserve you at all since he does not bother reaching out to you in anyway after all your attempts.

You are a good girl and should move on.

Good luck, reply back!

gummy bear

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Dragonflymagic answered Wednesday December 31 2014, 5:01 pm:
Did you think that this guy was the one you would marry and have kids with someday? I understand you developed strong feelings but at any time in our teens, the real love between two people dating almost never ends up in a life long relationship. There will be many such love relationships along the way, each one a stepping stone up and better as you mature and learn more about the right and wrong things in relating to the opposite sex.

Also, it is not a given that if one person has strong feelings that the other does too. There is the initial attraction two people feel. Then comes the hanging out together or dating to get to know each other better. At your age, any things we find we don't like in the other person, we don't officially break up or say anything, just stop responding. Thats seem to be the usual teen response so one nevers knows what happened.
You apologized and it didn't make much difference, so beyong initial attraction or what is called, NRE New Relationship energy, there probably wasn't enough interest in him for you to keep in touch any longer. You say after apology he acted like everything was fine. Just acting like that doesnt mean it was. If all he did was text a couple times but never really spend the time hanging around you, then he lost his interest or any feelings he may have had. It may not be due to anything you say and did, just that there isn't enough in common or any chemistry to hold you together.
Think of a gift you wanted really bad for Birthday or Christmas when you were younger, you could hardly wait, the parents were constantly reminded and when the day came, You were so excited over this new toy and you played with it every day for maybe a week, then skipped days, then maybe just on the weekend or to show it to a friend and then it became forgotten at the bottom of the toy box. The toy didn't have what it takes to keep you interested long term, likely because you did not know yourself well enough yet to know what your greatest interests are or are going to be as you grow older. The same thing with love and relationships. The process to learning more about what you need and want in a guy and discovering thru some bad stuff what you don't like is not any easy fun process the entire time. You get your hopes up and then discover there's something you cant stand about a guy and break up. Guys do the same thing, they break up if they have the guts to do so, others are too chicken or afraid of making the girl upset or crying, and don't know how to handle, so they simply avoid the girl believing she will eventually go away if they never respond. At this age, there are more boys who break up with a girl by avoiding her than the other way, too chicken yet.

Memories of every guy in your life will never go away. The memories will always remain, it's just the hurt of the feelings that slowly over time will fade. Something will trigger a memory and you can smile with the memory rather than feel the great loss of them, the want to get back together. So when you think of him, tell yourself that he was just the first (or 2nd or whatever #) And that there will be many others for you to date and learn from the dating relationship. Once you do find the next boyfriend, your attention will be focused on someone new and that will help you not think of the ex guy so often. In meanwhile, keeping busy maybe with new pursuits will keep you from having time to think of him even at night. Lets say you joined a club at school, having fun and at night you're thinking of what plans to introduce to others at the next meeting for example.
Good luck!

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