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Wait for a guy I love or move on?
I was in a long distance relationship for almost six months. (I am pretty young, so that seems like a decent amount of time for me.) We were completely in love with each other, and he (we'll call him Henry) even came all the way from Indiana to visit me in Cali for a week. After fighting constantly over stupid things said and done, Henry broke up with me. He made it clear that he definitely wanted to start dating again after I matured a bit. I was heartbroken, but I was so hopeful that he would come running back in less than a month. Two months went by and he still hadn't asked me out again - or even talked to me at all. I decided to move on. I started dating a new guy who lives less than a mile away from me! He (we'll call him Jack) has liked me since sixth grade (i'm in high school now). I am exceptionally happy in this relationship, but I simply cannot get over Henry. Even though I never actually see or talk to him, I think about and cry over him almost everyday. I can't decide if I should ditch Jack, my current loving, compassionate, and "best friend forever" boyfriend, and sit here waiting patiently for a boy halfway across the country.... or I can stay with my current boyfriend (Jack) and try my best to forget Henry. Keep in mind that I believe I truly love both of these lovely people. Of course, there are so many details I can't list because of the character limit, but I stated the main ideas. :/ thank you!
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I think it's unfair that you entered your relationship when you knew you were still in love with Henry. If Jack knew about any of this could you imagine the hurt on his face? Honestly, I don't think Henry is the one for you. He made that clear when he broke up with you and stopped talking to you, he's not even trying to get you back when he can. So to avoid heartbreak, don't go back to him because he clearly isn't the one. As far as Jack goes, I think you guys might honestly be meant for each other, just not at this time. You need to take a break from relationships and try and get over Henry, then maybe if things are still there between you and Jack, then start things up again, if not, find someone new. :)
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Since at our teen or even early twenties, we have alot to learn in life yet, let alone relationships, we are going to make mistakes, both due to being naive, having no previous experience to drawn from, being immature and/or not having been observant of other relationships your age and parents age to see what works and what doesnt. (some can be learned by reading books or watching videos) I can't say if there was anything you were doing that wasn't to his liking but when we choose someone to date, it's going to start with someone who is visually to our liking. Then starts the investigative part of hanging out with/dating to get to know about the person's character and personality. That's just as important, if it wasn't, every girl in school would click with you and be a best friend. Your'e looking for a guy who can be like a best friend but also with whom there is chemistry for the romantic/sexual part. Henry has written you off so there is no pursuing him. People can have their heart battling feelings for more than one person at a time. That happens in life sometimes. Ive experienced that too. What I can say is the best thing is to pursue a relationship that seems the most promising for both the friendship part and the romantic part. By friendship, I am talking about a boy who is there for you like a girl friend is, he cares no matter what your mood, is understanding, a listening ear, encourages you in many ways, is supportive, is someone you can trust, doesnt' put you down, and is always building you up. If you wouldn't hang out with a girl who treats you other than that, don't hang with a guy who does.
From the way you describe Jack, sounds like your decision should be easy to make. Sounds like he had the makings of a perfect boyfriend, cus the friendship part is nailed down. All there is left for you to determine is if both of you have the chemistry for the romance and sexual attraction. Like do your hearts do somersaults and stomach flutter when you kiss or flirt? If you haven't yet, or don't want to, then there's likely no attraction that way. Might make for a great friend but nothing more, not relationship or dating or marriage material for you someday.
As for your having the emotions still over Henry...it will fade in time, usually after you find someone a step better than him. Thats what dating is about, going through a serious of monogamous relationships, improving each time with your next choice of boyfriend, and breaking up with someone the moment you see behavior you won't tolerate. this means you need to ask yourself what is acceptable or not for you and stick with it and make sure a guy knows up front what you are looking for and expecting. Also work on bettering yourself, trying your best to mature, get more educated on relationships and it will all work out. good luck dear.
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I think you should take a break from dating. I believe you do love both of them and care about both but it's not fair to your current boyfriend if you're missing another guy and cry over him.
So don't go running back to your ex. But you also need to take a step back and give yourself more time to get over him.
It takes different amounts of time for each person to get over someone. You didn't give yourself enough time so you need to do that now.
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