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I need advice, I'm pregnant with a man who treats me horrible.
I'm young, 18 to be exact, and I got pregnant with a guy who's in the oil field. We only new each other for a week or so which isn't like me at all.. But now I'm pregnant and it's been three months now and he treats me horrible. I moved with him because I felt that was the best to do because we're having a child. I can't afford to raise a child by myself. He has horrible anger issues too. He's said horrible things to me like "kill urself bitch", and has even put his hands around my throat once.. He wants this child and is really excited about the kid. But he's mean to me. He talks down to me. I clean his house, do his laundry, I moved three hours away from my home to be with him. I don't know what to do... I've never felt so alone and mentally abused. Not only am I super emotional due to being pregnant but I have a guy who makes me feel worthless.. If anyone can give me any good advice.. Please
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Adviceman gave you all you need to know, get out.
Now I figured since you mentioned "He wants this child and is really excited about the kid." that I need to put in my thoughts on that. You may think it terrible to leave him and take the kid away from him because you are assuming he's happy about the kid.
What is more likely, especially since he doesnt treat you as if he loves you, is that he is simply a proud rooster, wanting to crow to others and point at the kid saying, see that, my seed made that. Big whoop-de-doo. It takes no special skill for a male to become a biological father, but it takes a loving caring man to be the male role model who raises a child, his or someone else's.
A child raised by him if you stayed with him means a boy who turns out like him, thinking being abusive to women is normal, or a daughter who chooses a man to date or marry or treats her like this. My ex was only verbally abusive but I can see now the effects on my 3 grown daughters, one shys from relationships and the other two have not chosen really great guys at all.
You have to be thinking not just about your welfare but that of your coming child. Mental abuse can turn to physical abuse. If he's once put his hands around your neck, that's physical assault. Do you want to take the risk that he loses it when the baby cries one too many times for his taste and he picks it up and shakes it hard to make it stop. That is one way many babies die every year. If you want this babe to be safe, and find it hard to leave him just for your own sake, then think of the baby.
Leave asap dear
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First thing to is move away from him. IF you have family and friends back home move back home. Then go to the district court house or Sheriff's office and file for an order of protection against him for you and you child. Then go see an attorney, if you cannot afford one go to the local legal aid society office and they will assist you.
The father of the child has certain obligations to you and the child he has fathered. An attorney can prepare and file papers in court to order the father to provide child support and in what amount, medical insurance, and possibly support for you as well. All the support you and the baby are entitled to is spelled out under the laws of the state you reside in. The court order obligates him until the child is 18. The court can and may go so far as to attach his wages to insure that you receive timely payments.
He also has rights under the law such as visitation. Since you have and order of protection, which must be renewed each year, his visitation will be supervised by child services. You bring the baby to them and they will supervise his visits and give the baby back to you when his visit is completed.
These things can only happen though by following the advice I have given you. If you do not have family and friends you can turn to then contact your local battered women's shelter. You can find them by using a search engine and search; "The house of Ruth" or "Battered women's shelter and your town and state".
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Get away from him.
There are lots of programs to help out single moms. You nor your child deserve to be treated in that way. If he's hurting your physical and emotionally, he doesn't deserve the child in his life, he doesn't deserve you in his life, he only deserves to be lonely and miserable because he's a massive douche.
Find family.
Find Friends.
Find anything that isn't him. That is going to be the best thing for and your child.
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