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Am I losing my mind?
19, male. So over the past few months I've changed my perspective on many things. A few months ago I would have never behaved how I am now. It just seems like everything around me is fake. I've been planning on bringing an escort to my house as soon as my visiting family guests leave. I don't see the point in having a normal relationship at my age. I don't have the time for it anyway. My last relationship ended because I was always at work. Every time I see couples, they seem so fake and generic. Like everyone follows a made up standard of how a relationship should be. To add to it, I no longer see the point in being all emotional. Once you fall for it, if anything goes wrong, you get hurt. I let that happen to me before. I ended up ruining a friendship and slowing down my own progress with my life goal endeavours. So why should I put myself in that situation again? I'll actually save money and time by seeing escorts. No one gets hurt and I help the economy, along with gaining experience. A few months ago I would have disagreed with myself. I just don't want my friends and family to find out.Ironically, a lot of people think highly of me. But they're not going to understand, everyone's view on what's right and whats wrong is different. I bet if there were a guaranteed no judgment setting where nobody could judge them , they'd do things they would never do now , cause there'd be nobody around to tell them they're wrong. And I know the risks of STD's. The dilemma there is that someone you love and trust can give you one too. So there's no way to be completely safe from it. I honestly see more pros than cons, the cons are mostly universal in the fact that they can be found in normal relationships anyway. But the pros seem to heavily outweigh the cons, I get to stay working, I could focus on my goals, I get what I want, and I save time and money.How am I wrong for this??And I know it's selfish,but you need to be selfish to succeed, I'm not living and working for other people so. Just can't let my family and friends know.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I have to agree with the others on two points here. You sound very motivated work wise, but your actually putting it at risk by hiring escorts. Should you get caught, well.....obviously you know already based on what the others have said. So your only setting yourself up for failure there.
It also sounds like right now youve got break up syndrome, weather it was all that recent or not, your showing the classic signs by saying whats real and whats not anymore, i dont know kinda stuff. Really, its in every word you spoke here....
Also, being successful in life does NOT mean you have to be "selfish" thats a foolish outlook on life. TRUE you do have to dedicate alot of your time to working toward your ultimate goal but your also trying to pave the way for yourself and set up a future for you a any possible family you will have one day and there is nothing wrong with that. The only danger is you have to make sure you dont overwhelm YOURSELF in the process.
My husband is an admitted work-a-holic ok, very great at his job and works long hours to bring home the bacon for me and our toddler but its something to admire and any future female that understands hard work is what it takes in this world will admire that too, not sneer at it or try to discourage you.
Dont self sabotage your future by hiring illegal women to come around when you want a flesh and blood female. Go to the store or online and buy a toy if you need that certain something.
also i want to remind you of the important statement that people care about people who care about themselves, and you clearly dont right now. Try to do some things in your free time that make you feel good about you even if you dont right now. Buy yourself a few new clothing items, or things you been really wanting but havnt gotten. you would be surprised how a new pair of shoes or a hat, for a guy can make him feel a lot less stressed and a little happier knowing that hes looking good even if its just for right now.
People who take care of themselves are usually seen as "having it all together in life" so even if you dont just try making it a habit to start taking care of yourself a little more here and there everyday. try something new.
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Though somewhat understandable given the circumstance written you are way so young to have the outlook on life that you have. While it appears you have a great work ethic I am left wondering why with such a work ethic you are not in college Such a strong work ethic backed by a college degree will go far and may just change your outlook on life.
As for hiring Escorts; unless you live in Nevada it is illegal and then only in one of the legal brothels for which you must be 21. They say prostitution is a victimless crime, but is it. Many of the girls in it are victims controlled by pimps who take their money and beat them when they don't produce enough. High price call girls are not all that different. It is called the oldest profession for a reason as it is a profession of last resort for those that practice it. A means to an end that never comes. Those that use these services are contributing to those reasons and problems.
In many states the Johns are now targeted and prosecuted by police. Something to think about, one hours pleasure can do you a lifetime of harm and I am not talking about and STD. A police record for any type of sexual offence. which this would be, would disqualify you for any job requiring a security clearance and some bonding companies could refuse to offer a bond for jobs that require bonding. Something to think about.
I also agree you should take some time off from dating. Give yourself some time to heal and put things in their proper perspective, Take time to look at your goals and see how a college education may enhance those goals. If money is an issue start by attending your local community college where the courses are less expensive. You can complete your degree online. It will take longer, it will be worth it and with your work ethic I see no reason why you will not be successful.
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Depending on where you live, it may be illegal to hire an escort. You would also be contributing to an industry that often ends in women being harmed.
I agree with your thinking that you should hold off on dating for a while. You have a recent breakup to process, and you've got a lot going on in your life. There's no problem with holding off on dating. That said, I don't agree with the idea that hiring an escort will solve all of your problems. If anything, I would think it would damage your self-esteem to only see women who are paid to be intimate with you.
So wait a while before trying to date again. Focus on your relationships with friends and yourself for the time being. Sex isn't all that important; you can take care of those needs on your own. Just work on being as happy and self-fulfilled as you can, and you'd be surprised how easy relationships can be after that. I met my husband while we were both on breaks from dating. Since neither one of us was trying to impress the other, it meant that we liked each other the way we were. Things can work out in ways you would never imagine!
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