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humorist-workshop

Teachers are talking behind back and telling my mom incorrect things?


Question Posted Monday October 6 2014, 9:19 pm

Okay, so I'm a young teen and male. I have what's known as rumination disorder. It's not a choice eating disorder like anorexia/bulimia; it's where food involuntarily comes up. It's been listed on my health form.

And yet the nurse sent my mom an email saying I haven't been eating but "one bite" of my lunch which is a load of crap because I eat all of my crackers and sometimes cookies if my mom packs them. She also said that I go into the bathroom with food in my mouth. Uhhhh...no? I don't even use the bathrooms at school, the only hall pass I've used all year was to go to my locker.

I know they're just concerned about me but I'm ticked that they went to my mom first and are apparently having some sort of secret meetings about me where they come to nonsensical conclusions. They haven't said a word about this to me and they've got my mom worried even though I am trying to get better.


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AshokLifeCoach answered Monday October 20 2014, 6:04 am:
Hi,
First of all I must point out to you that anorexia and bulimia are not 'choice eating disorders'. I realise you where just trying to explain that your condition is different but just because anorexia and bulimia are psychological conditions if doesn't make having then a choice. No one would choose to have an eating disorder. I do however understand what you where trying to say - the issue with you is not one of purposefully not eating or purposefully making yourself vomit.

Unless the nurse sits and watches you eat lunch each day and follows you around checking up on any bathroom visits etc. I fail to see how she could have accurately come to these conclusions to be honest, so I quite understand why you are frustrated.

Talk to your mom and calmly but assertively explain how you feel and the situation as you see it. Perhaps explain how it's not logical how the nurse could confidently arrive at these conclusions simply base on the fact that she isn't monitoring your every move all day (I assume she isn't).

I don't see what they hope to gain by having endless discussion about you and your condition without including you. All that seems to be achieving is to worry your mom and nothing more. Talk to your mom and discuss this properly yourself with her as soon as possible.

Someone should tell the nurse her current way of going about things are not helping anyone at all!

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you imagined

Ashok

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adviceman49 answered Tuesday October 7 2014, 10:12 am:
From your writing I see a very mature young man who is knowledgeable about the disease that he is afflicted with. This is good as I believe if you stay calm you can have an adult conversation with your mom to alleviate what may be concerning here from what she is hearing from the school nurse.

Most likely the school nurse is basing her assumptions on second or third hand information. Information such as some student was overheard by a teacher who told the nurse. The teacher may not have heard the entire conversation. The teacher heard enough to be concerned forgive him or her for being concerned as well as the nurse for they are looking out for your best interest.

Sit down with mom and tell her of your concerns. Explain to her that you don't think the nurse has a full or correct story and out of an abundance of caution has gone to her with the wrong information. Ask her to tell you what the nurse told her. Then correct any fallacies in what the nurse told her.

I think you would know if the nurse was in the lunch room during your lunch period and if she was watching you. If the nurse is not in the lunch room when you are then the information she has is not first hand information. Any information that is not first hand tends to change somewhat as it changes hands. The more times the information changes hands the more times people tend to expand or elaborate on the story.

You were there, you are the first person. If you have your mothers trust; and it is my belief that you should. Then talking with mom and setting her straight will be good for both of you. You could also ask that in any future conferences with a teacher or the nurse concerning your medical problem that you be there to hear and discuss what was said to the nurse.

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