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confused!!
So I've been talking to this guy over the phone (texting) and he's a good friend of my best friend! He told me he likes me and I really like him too!I haven't met him in ages but heard a lot about him from my friend! Now he wants to date me... We talk often and I think he wants a committed relationship just like me! How do I make sure that he wants the same?
I've met him previously! He's shy! He is going away for his masters to Europe next month for a year! I asked him how do I get to see him and he asked me if I'm okay with Skype relationship for a year !I think if it survives long distance, it's the real test! I have problems initiating conversation with him! Is that bad? Do relationships work if it's long distance? Please advice :)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I guess if a guy says he wants to date you then he has some intention of forming a relationship that will hopefully last. Shyness is not necessarily a bad sign here. It perhaps shows he has nerves? If he had no intention of a relationship he'd possibly me more off-hand and not nervous, since he would not be worried about how he came across and what you would think of him? It's easy to be light and confident around people we do not care much either way about, or worry about what they think of us. A year separated by great distance, with no physical contact will indeed be a test. But there is no reason why it cannot 'work'. He WILL be distracted, by the coursework and commitment he will have to put into gaining his Masters. That's not a threat to YOU. Other social activities and other 'human relationships' that will occur are more of a threat. On the plus side, he will be diverting a lot of his efforts into academic work, and he's a long way from home and in unfamiliar surroundings. So with luck he will have his work cut out doing what has to be done. And hopefully little time for romantic liaisons? YOU have to keep him interested. And make him feel the effort is all about reward. And the reard will be a full, committed relationship with YOU when he's gained his academic aspirations! YOU have to be the glittering prize, as it were? So get into glittering prize mode right now! Be positive and up-beat. Playful sexy and desirable. Talk about 'when' you get back together after the separation, not 'if'. Keep pouring out the positives. Conversations are bit of an inexact science, initiating them can be hard and making sure they stay on the right path can be almost impossible. That's natural. Encourage him in his studies, do not show signs of jealousy or a feeling that it's keeping you apart (although it actually is). It's part of the investment in your future. You're proud of him and pleased with him. You can't wait to see him. Tell him about what you are doing. Chat about things 'at home' to keep 'home' alive in his mind. Good stuff, edit and airbrush out bad or boring stuff. Tell him your friends think you're a bit distant since he's away. You can't seem to get a real spark out of going places and doing stuff. That's because you only have eyes and a heart for HIM of course! And as for other guys...well you've already set your sights on the guy YOU want and you aren't going to accept anything less. No chance! So the Skype connection has got to be your 'lifeline' as it were. Use it well and don't let hime drift. Never hang-up on a bad note or argument. Somehow make sure you always end on something positive. And something open-ended on offer, for 'next time'. Until the 'next time' is you and him. Properly back together in the flesh. And how good is THAT gonna be??? Don't let the distance get you downhearted. There WILL be times when it IS disheartening. Then let the conversation reflect it. Make this one a heart-to-heart and let him know how deeply you feel. But in a good way. No sign that you're thinking of giving up on the relationship. Hope you make it work, you sound as though you want it enough. Best wishes XX
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