Question Posted Tuesday September 16 2014, 9:42 pm
I'm a 13 year old girl and I moved recently because of my dad's job, that's when my social anxiety really started setting in. I've always been known as the "quiet" girl at school, but that's just because I prefer to think rather than yell everything that comes to mind. I was quiet but I could have a loud, strong voice when doing presentations and things and I loved attention a lot of the time. But ever since I moved seven months ago I can't even talk to people outside of my tiny group of friends. Today, I had to present my art project in front if the class and I vowed that I would force myself to talk but everything just left my mind as I stood up there mumbling to my feet. I also had a nervous breakdown when a cashier made small talk with me at the grocery store. I'm very self-conscious because I'm a little overweight and always feel like people are staring at me, so that's not helping the problem any. My mom is well aware of my issue so is there any doctor/therapist type person who specializes in these types of situations that I could ask her to take me to? Is there any way that I can help myself? Thanks in advance!
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category? Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health? ammo answered Thursday September 18 2014, 9:58 am: Hi. There is a therapist who would be able to help you with this but you must also understand that from the sounds of things this seems a natural defensive response to the move you made from somewhere that was known to you and was 'safe' to a place where you are a stranger and everything around you is new and unknown. So although therapy will be able to help and direct you on what you should be doing, it will involve a lot of self help. If you want to seek out therapy, I would advise doing so as a talk with a professional who understands what you are going through will be able to explain it to you better and advise you on what you need to do to be able to start helping yourself and more importantly will be there to keep guiding you and checking on your progress. Speak to your doctor and when you do ask them if they can suggest a therapist or a specialist who can help you with overcoming your social anxiety.
As I said above I believe the cause of this has been because of the move and you have moved from a place you knew really well and was comfortable in, into a place which is now new and alien to you and so your safe zone has suddenly shrunk. The fact you feel so self conscious about yourself as well is probably not helping things as well and is further pushing you into a tighter comfort zone. The surefire way to overcome this will take time and patience and a lot of effort on your own part, you will slowly need to expand that safe zone you have created around you just ever so much so that you are making progress but not jumping in so deep that you have a panic attack or nervous breakdown. Start with little things - when you go into a store say hello to the cashier. When in school talk to other people even if it's just small talk but remember that all of this is stuff you can build on. Make the place where you are now YOUR place so that safe zone you have around you expands around the whole place. As I said it will take time and try be patient too but also, speak to your doctor about wanting to see a therapist or specialist who will be able to help you manage this and if they can recommend or refer you to one.
rainhorse68 answered Thursday September 18 2014, 2:17 am: I'm tending to think that the move has made you 'draw in' and shrink your 'comfort zone'. It's quite a natural, and in some ways inevitable consequence. You were indeed 'more comfortable' in the previous environment and had many known points of reference. In short, you knew who you were and exactly where you fitted into it. And now you are not so sure of yourself and your surroundings? All those cliches about 'settling in' and 'finding your feet' and so on have a firm basis in human behavioural patterns. I'm sure you WILL find your feet (as they say) before long. For now, try putting on as confident a 'front' as you can. Celebrate every little or not so little personal victory and achievement (every time you overcome shyness and awkardness). Bit by bit you will make the new environment 'your own'. You'll face things like this all your life. A new relationship. Your own house. Moving house. A new job. A promotion with added responsibilities. And so on. At first it's daunting, you are not sure of yourself and you feel you can't cope with it. But you WILL cope with it. I promise. X [ rainhorse68's advice column | Ask rainhorse68 A Question ]
YimFrantastic answered Wednesday September 17 2014, 11:29 am: Yes, there is a doctor/therapist that can help you , and give you advice to this kind of situation.
But you also need to help yourself. Of course there are people who can help you but the you're the only person who can convince your self and help your self to this kind of situation.
Here are some suggestions overcoming social anxiety.
1) Try a self help manual
2) Consult a therapist
3)Practice deep breathing everyday
It’s helpful to engage in deep breathing before an anxiety-provoking social situation,But practice this technique every day. This way it becomes second nature, and you don’t hyperfocus on deep breathing and miss an entire conversation.
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