|
Struggling to break up with him-scared to be alone!
I'm 19/f.
I want to break up with my boyfriend. We've been together for 10 months.
The problem is he's really nice and is totally in love with me. I'm worried that breaking up with him will crush him completely.
I just don't get excited about us anymore. When I get a text from him even if it says hey beautiful-I just feel no emotion. I don't really fancy him.
Recently he's had a go at me for not being able to come on dates. We live like a hour apart. I don't want to go on dates because they bore me.
Also my mum told my sister that I could do better for a boyfriend.
I know breaking up with him will hurt him no matter what. Just I start Uni again soon and would prefer to be single ready to mingle if you get what I mean. I'm just scared also they'll be no one else if I split up with my bf, and I'll regret the decision.
He's an amazing, lovely guy-I just don't fancy him. The type that'd say 'Is there anything I need to change'. Truth is you either fancy someone or you don't.
Should we take a break and see how it goes? he wants to see me more-I'm not so fussed.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If he's a good guy you should probably stay with him most guys are assholes
]
i was recently in the same situation and trust me when i tell you that you will feel a whole lot better if you tell him sooner than later. just do it in a way that is respectful and give him a chance to get closure. after all he didn't do anything wrong you just out grew him and you have a right to that.
he will hurt but in time he but in time he will realise you did him a favor.....its better to leave a relation in which your bored than to stay just to appease the other person..
After all you only live once.
]
I agree with Dragon. the sooner you tell him, the sooner you will be free and you wont have wasted anymore of your time or his.
just tell him that youll always care for him but that your just not feeling this anymore. That its not him but that you have different needs and wants in a guy then what he is capable (in your mind) of him being able to give. Also height light the fact that your going to be going back to school soon and you both will again have to face the idea of being wayyy too far apart for each other. whatever you do just be gentle because you obviously still care for him on a basic level but just feel like the chemistry isnt there, never was, but that you feel he also deserves someone that can give him more then what you are capable of right now.
make the transition smoother by saying that your still always there for him as friends and whenever he wants to just talk. Eventually once your gone and he see's theres no chance he will move on.
good luck.
]
No you dont need a break. Nothing is going to change during a break, you will still be you and he will still be himself. Your problem of only one liking the other is very common. What you are feeling, that lack of romance, chemistry is also normal and happens often in the search for the partner who is perfect for us. Basically, the two of you are not a perfect match and it doesn't mean that he isn't a perfect guy in every way possible nor you a wonderful gal. However one can't make a relationship work on just the friendship alone. Many do try though and even get married. But without the want and desire to be with that person and having deep feelings for them and attraction to them, it's not enough to make a relationship work. He may already be figuring out that something is not quite right. People who are mismatched who stay together long term will have one unhappy cus the other doesnt return love and the one who is bored and feels nothing is not having the basic needs of a love relationship and companionship met in a meaningful way so they may be tempted to cheat. It is not fair to let him assume all is fine.Its not fair to him, keeping him on the line in case nothing better comes. Wrong thinking cus you would be settling for less and may lose him sooner than later anyhow when he finally decides to leave you but that could happen in the next month or 20 years from now. Want to be stuck with him the next 2 years? He deserves to find a gal who is really into him.
If you did feel something at first, thats also normal, its called new relationship energy and can be very misleading with the excitement of something new covering up the fact that there isn't chemistry. Eventually the excitement of the new relationship wears off and one or both realize they are with the wrong person.
Dating is for determining is the person you are with is going to be the best match for you. Make a list of all the good things you like to look for in the next person and also avoid the things that were not perfect and make sure that each relationship you are in is an improvement over the other. Eventually you will find Mr. Right.
]
More Questions: |