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how to get back your ability to speak
recently im having difficulting with my ability to think and speak my mind and it started to happen back in april and through i had to deal with it and have been insulted by ignorant old ladies so anyway i am posting this to Kittenlover200 and i hope she gets this in her advice column and has any good advice for me thank you .
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Yes-I got it.
Hello.
Okay it sounds like your having trouble with being assertive. You say you've been insulted? I'd be interested to know why!
You say 'get back' your ability-so have you once been able to stand up for yourself but now you can't?
I think its important to be assertive because otherwise you wont get the most out of life-and reach your full potential. You could end up being walked over.
Its all about feeling like someone is in the wrong, knowing you have a right to correct them and then going on to have the confidence to stand up for yourself.
If you don't stand up for yourself no one else will!
I think the first step is easing the worry. You're obviously worried about something-most people seeking advice on Advicenators are!
What are you worried about? That you'll be laughed at-judged or it'll make things worse?
If you don't speak out-then you'll never know. Its all about abolishing the fear. Tell yourself to stop predicting the future-because YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE.
Sometimes, speaking your mind isn't appropriate. (ie job interviews)But then sometimes not speaking your mind can lead to dishonesty which can affect you more in the long run.
Okay I think I'll list my top tips for being able to speak out in confidence:
1) Lose the fear. Fear holds too many people back these days. Its easier to stay quiet than to express yourself sometimes. Pinpoint exactly what it is about you that makes you feel less confident. Work on it. Or learn to accept it. Say 'Ok I don't like that I clam up when I disagree with someone's opinion-but this is just something I have to cope with'.
2) Don't be taken for a mug but don't be overly opinionated or overly sensitive. Quite often someone will insult you and not realize just how much it hurt you. Some people are far less sensitive than others. So if something does offend you-tell them. Message them if its easier. Else they'll never know. Of course don't allow yourself to be bullied-but equally don't burst into tears if someone insults you. Being assertive is about remaining strong. If you act tough then soon your mind will believe it too, and not take any nonsense from anyone.
3) You've not really described specific scenarios in your question. But in any speak out situation try and do it in a neutral tone. Don't let emotion be in your voice. You'll sound more in control and find people will take you more seriously
Hope I helped. Of course if you are being bullied please get help!
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