Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us

About a complicated online relationship


Question Posted Tuesday July 15 2014, 5:15 am


Okay, hi! This is my first time here so please bear with me, and I just need advice. So, I'm a 20-year old girl and in a relationship with this guy I met on a social networking site (sorry, I don't feel like naming which one). We've been together for like 2 months, and we're actually close. Not iterally close as living near each other. We've never seen each other in person, but we do know what we both look like. I've shown him a picture of me, and so has he. And things were going smoothly. Until earlier. We were talking about gaming online together, and then he said it would be better if we could talk while gaming. I said I don't have a mic, because my brother is really anxious about me talking or being in contact that way to other people from different countries. And he asked for another picture, in which I responded I'll send him one randomly one day, because I don't really feel like sending one but decided that I wanna surprise him. But his friends think I'm a dude. Because of those two reasons plus the fact that they think I'm full of crap for making stories to keep him with me. It wasn't long until he too, actually thinks I'm a dude. What should I do? Should I just ditch him? I hate that his friends think I'm full of crap for "making up stories" and that he actually got his mind influenced easily by his friends, ending in him not actually trusting me and ignoring my decision. Should I just forget about us?

[ Answer this question ]

Additional info, added Wednesday July 16 2014, 9:12 am:
Okay, so I decided to just break up with him because I don't want us to get to the point where we actually hate each other. So I wrote this particular message (I guess one could call it a letter) saying what I want to say and how I feel that he just let his friends influence him. I also said in that letter that I'm breaking up and that maybe it really wasn't meant to be. And then, I saw him send me a message saying he feels so bad at the moment for letting it get to his head and that he's truly sorry. That he's laughing at himself for making a dumb move, that he's blind for believing his friends too easily, and that he realized that after everything he'a gone thru during our relationship, I was the only one who's been there for him. He knows that the damage was done, and realized that the picture doesn't matter that much and wasn't that big of a deal to break up the relationship for (since we've already exchanged pictures before).

And then he said "Farewell, love. </3" So I asked him why he still called me "love." He said because he still loves me so much, and that I'm the one who makes him smile when he's having trouble at work and that's why he called me "love" and hope that it's fine with me. I tried to hear his thoughts so I said "Haha. We're back in this again. I don't think I should say this, but I still love you. And I don't think that's ever gonna change. But what happened to the guy I left? The one who chose to believe his friends without even bothering to trust his girlfriend?" Is it right that I said that? Do you think I shouldn't have said that?.
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?

Hardcore-Band-Geek answered Tuesday July 15 2014, 6:26 pm:
Long distance relationships are hard. It also so really hard, when you've never seen the your partner.

You should let it go. You might not be ready for an online relationship. Also if he would let his friends influence his feelings for you, he is not worth it

Hope it all works out for you.

-Hardcore-Band-Geek

[ Hardcore-Band-Geek's advice column | Ask Hardcore-Band-Geek A Question ]


Razhie answered Tuesday July 15 2014, 10:38 am:
Yeah. You should let this one go.

You aren't equipped, or willing, to turn this into a real, honest relationship. A few photos and text-based conversations can't create or sustain a relationship.

If he is already not trusting you, and you are withholding pictures and even voice conversations, your relationship simply can't grow. You have set yourselves on a path towards greater distrust and resentment.

Long distance relationships can work, but not like this.

[ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: My guy friend has a girlfriend but flirts with me and i feel guilty?
Next Question >>> Is garlic good or bad?

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.
[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker