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Is it right or wrong? Love Choice
Hi,Its Love Choice girl again!
A few things have happened since yesterday.
I told my mother about seeing him,and she thinks I have lost it.
The pressing of faith has literally made me explode like a boiling teapot.Im so in love with this man,and hes such a part of my life! And for him to be gone forever is crimminal
My dad left the faith and my mom and family and I believe this part of why she doesnt want me to be with my guy.
Again,the Bible does state not to be unevenly yoked with a non-believer and not to intermarry religions.
I realize that,I had always felt strongly,that if 2 people love eachother and do worship and believe in the same God,it should be fine.I dont want to abadon my faith.
Im left with 3 choices
1.Stay with my love and keep my faith (Wich the Bible calls being lukewarm)
2. Let my love go and be misreable forever
3.Find someone else who does share in my faith who I believe is hard to find,and I know I couldn't love anyone like I love my baby
Im sorry to re-bring this up,my heart is breaking at the seams second by second.My love has done nothing wrong,except love me and treat me well.
Thank you!
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Your last sentence is the most important thing to focus on "My love has done nothing wrong,except love me and treat me well."
There are many so called Christian men who do not treat their wives well at all. I was one of them, abused by my Christian husband verbally and emotionally.
I've found that there are bad apples in every belief on the planet but there are also very loving people who treat others as their sisters and brothers in God, no matter what they call God. That is what actually counts most! If God created all of us, then we are all family but most do not treat others as family.
I think God isn't as concerned as we are by what name we call him and what spiritual leaders we follow the example of. Jesus didn't want the glory, he just wanted us all to know His Father in heaven...it was always God the Father he was pointing us towards as if he was just the messenger like other religious icons, Buddha, Yogi's, etc....
Your parents did their best raising you by teaching you their beliefs. Not all children are going to believe exactly the same as their parents for the rest of their lives. Once you become an adult, which you are, it becomes your job to decide what it is you believe, what is critically important and what is not.
I remember visiting my sisters church one day and both she and I have moved on from our Christian belief to a more open accepting one of all the beliefs out there. She introduced me and then asked him about a previous issue he'd had concern about, some guy her daughter was dating and there was talk of marriage. All I remember is the young man was middle eastern of descent and not a Christian. The Pastor said he was concerned that the man was not Christian and was thinking of forbiding her (an adult daughter) from marrying the man. My sister quickly spoke up and said, "If it comes down to deciding between these two options, which one would you choose, a non Christian man who treats your daughter wonderful or a Christian man who abuses her every day, which would you choose? The Pastor didn't have to think hard, for his answer was immediate...the man who treats her well. Then she asked, does he treat her well? Yes he is a wonderful man and I admire him, he has so many wonderful qualities. Then we could see the change on his face as he realized that religion was the least of the concerns when it comes down to who his daughter would marry. He admitted my sister was right. As a Pastor he was taught the 'unequal yoked' belief as something to avoid. But as a daddy, that paled in comparison when it came to how the two supposed men would treat his daughter. As a human daddy, he was wanting exactly the same thing for his daughter that God wants for all of us. I spoke up and supported what my sister said and then told my story. I was living with my sister because I had recently left an abusive Christian husband.
I think the real issue here is wanting your familys blessing more than Gods. Their blessing you may not get. You can not change what they believe. As you well know, that's the Holy Spirit's job to work inside each person. They also have free choice and there is no time line God gives us in which he wants us to achieve things. So worst case scenerio, they never approve and keep distant. But time has a way of working on stubborn people and their love for you will likely draw them near or perhaps when there are grandchildren/nieces-nephews their hearts will soften.
Your biggest issue will really be what spiritual examples you both are for your children and what you will train them in as far as a faith/belief. I don't believe it has to be only Christian or only Jewish, but perhaps a little of both, the good of each one, perhaps a more open spiritual belief that trains them how to study the beliefs for themselves and decide for themselves which parts of what's taught do measure up with Gods degree of Love your neighbor and what does not.
I personally believe the teaching of being 'lukewarm' or 'unequally yoked' in marriage is one of those doctrines that is useless and drags our attention away from what is really GOD's core important things for us to being living.
I can't tell you what to pick but choice #1,2 and 3 all are based on what 'your faith' is.
So I advise you before choosing one of those, to be sure that what you say is 'your faith' is truly your faith and not your parents faith that you are choosing to blindly continue to follow or because it's comfortable and familiar. You are at a point in life where you can no longer just follow what has been taught to you as a child growing up. Time has come to you do some soul searching and going to God for guidance and seeking exactly what spiritual path and belief is where your heart and mind are at and then follow that path. If any path that a person is on is not exactly like yours or your parents, it doesn't mean they are lost, lukewarm or going to hell. Hell, damnation, salvation, are pretty much solely parts of the Christian belief and I have now read enough to understand how those beliefs came to be and it was not something God was telling us but in early Christianity, something the religious spiritual leaders put into effect during a time when people did not have bibles, know how to read or the bible hadn't been translated into our common languages yet. It was easy to reflect the Bible to say what leaders wanted so as to gain control of more of the populace. Much original scripture was left out if it contradicted their new doctrines and other stuff was added in. Since you and I were not alive at the time this was happening and high enough in importance to be a witness to this, we can't even say that story is true. But just what if there is no hell, and there is reincarnation instead? If that were true, then it wouldn't matter what faith system a man followed, as long as they were growing spiritually with each one, learning to recognize their Divine creators as their Mother and Father God, (mother being the Holy Spirit-female in ancient texts and early Christianity before leaders changed the bible.)
And once realizing where they fit as a child of Mother-Father God, then recognizing and treating every human alive as they would, their blood sisters and brothers.
I hope this helps you dear to figure out what you will do. If you need to talk more or something I've mentioned has raised questions, feel free to write my column.
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Nothing you've said here changes my previous advice.
If you (not your mother, but you) honestly believe that God will damn you to suffer for all eternity because you choose to live your life with someone who loves and respects you, but doesn't share your faith, then you should probably find someone else, because that belief in eternal hell-fire is a lot of pressure to put on yourself and your relationship. Your belief that both of your deserve to be damned is going to poison any relationship you have with someone who doesn't' believe as you do.
You do have a forth option though, and that is to reconsider your faith and come to a different understanding of your relationship with God. That's not 'abandoning' your faith, that's just realizing that faith takes on many shapes and follows many paths, and that religions that claim to be the absolute authority on what God wants are absolutely crazy. Certainly in my experience, people who don't believe in a God that is a vicious, merciless asshole, are generally happier.
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