|
Life in general
I had to move in with family last August. I am going threw a divorce which is completely paid for just waiting on paper work. I work very hard. I work full time raising my two children alone. During the divorce my ex took everything and left me alone with the kids. I don't mind I got the better end of the deal. However it has made starting over difficult. We finally have every thing we need to move into a new home. Except a vehicle. I have been dating a guy for several months 7 to be exact we've talked about living together he has a good job he just started about a month ago. He doesn't have kids. He has a very sarcastic personality he makes time to just stop by and sit and talk how ever we had taking about not getting gifts for each other this year for birthdays how ever I still got him something and he didn't get me anything. I don't care about things but it kinda hurt. For no reason he was gonna buy me flowers said the store didn't have any so wrote on a piece of paper iou flowers.. why ever tell me ? Which I no the store has them it's a 24 hour store he went to and they always have them right when you walk in. I just feel I'm leaning more toward getting a place alone with my kids just looking for some advice someone to talk to about this
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I cannot give you any real justification for my feelings other than I believe you need more time before you get into a serious relationship. Right now with the divorce still not totally settled, waiting for the final papers. You are still suffering from the upheaval of the divorce without the real closure the final papers will bring. Then you need time to mourn your divorce which I do not believe you have done yet.
To my mind the guy you're seeing is a rebound affair. Someone to hold on to. Someone to provide some form of stability in what is still a sea of instability. He is not a good match for you and I believe you know it but he is providing something you have needed during the turmoil of your divorce. Which by the way is what you tell him when you give him his walking papers.
Once you have the closure of the final papers take some time for yourself. From what little you said about your Ex I have reason to believe you may be suffering from abused spouse syndrome. Your Ex did not have to physically abuse you. Mental abuse is just as abusive and far more harmful. I would go so far as to suggest you seek the advice of a therapist, someone like a psychologist to talk with. You would be surprised how cathartic it is to open up and relieve yourself to a complete stranger of all these things and then let then help you heal.
Most importantly you need some time to relax and heal once you receive the final papers. If possible maybe a family member will look after your children for a week or two while you take a well deserved vacation. Cruises can be very inexpensive if you book late and they are very, very good at pampering their guests. Something you both need and will enjoy.
As for a car, buying a new car may not be affordable. I suggest you look into leasing one. It is much more economical to lease for 2 to 3 years and at the end of the lease you have the option to purchase the car for the about the same cost as you are paying for the leasing.
]
More Questions: |