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humorist-workshop
Stuck between feuding family members
GiddyGeezer:
Thanks for your reply. All that you wrote is correct. This is especially true: "In your brothers case I am guessing that control is the issue and watching you squirm is the payoff!" He is a control freak where money is concerned. I had no idea about this until our folks passed.
Latest is that he paid about 95% of the estate. He has been holding back the rest for expenses. In the meantime, despite our folks requesting the estate be split 50/50 between siblings (after disbursements to the grandchildren), he has decided to charge an executor's fee. Under law, he is entitled to this. I reminded him of our parents' *wishes* (sent a handwritten note by our father requesting his two wonderful children divide the remainer 50/50) and sent a copy of an earlier email where he had said he would not charge a fee.
It's such a pity that there is this tension between us. It was the farthest thing from our parents' wishes; they planned and worked hard to make everything go smoothly and amicably.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
You are absolutely right, no parent ever wants to see conflict between their children. It is the most heartbreaking thing a parent can ever go through. I am also sure it was the last thing your parents would have wanted. If sending your brother a copy of your parents' last wishes did not soften his heart toward you then I don't expect anything is going to. You will now have to decide if you wish to forfeit your share of the estate or get an attorney and force your brother to do the right thing. Sadly, either way your relationship with your brother is probably changed forever. To all reading this, please let this be a lesson to give your family members what you wish them to have while you are still here. Things are not always carried out according to your wishes once you are gone!
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