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I think I might be lesbian :(
OK, I've thought about kissing girls, or something like that and it seemed fun, and when I think of kissing a boy I feel… nothing. I never feel anything to boys. There's a lot of other reasons on why I know I'm lesbian, but I won't get into detail. Anyway, my mother accepts gays and lesbians, but that doesn't mean other people will. Some of my friends think that they're gross, and I'm afraid of loosing my friendship in them, and being harshly judged and bullied. Maybe my friends will be able to accept me if they thought I was lesbian. I've tried to have relationships with guys, but ended it because I knew deep in my heart of hearts this wasn't right. I know I'm still a good person, but I'm having trouble accepting myself now. Is there a way to become…un-lesbian?
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In my opinion you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are. If you are lesbian you can't change it. Being lesbian and gay is starting to be accepted. When you are ready to "come out of the closet" you will know, and those who are truly good friends will not judge you. Don't be ashamed of what gender you love there's nothing wrong with being lesbian.
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It would have helped to know your age as it would help justify my answer to you. Since you have not included it I will do my best to explain what I am thinking at the moment.
You say you have a lot of other reasons why you think you are a lesbian. Not knowing what those reasons are I can only go by what you have written. Let me start by saying there is nothing wrong with being Gay or Lesbian.
Being Gay or Lesbian is not something you decide to be one morning when you wake up or when puberty hits. If you're Gay or Lesbian that is the way you were born. Being Gay is not a disease that can be cured. At one time doctors once thought this way, thankfully they have woken up to the fact they were wrong and have stopped trying to cure people.
So to Answer your question: No you cannot become Un-lesbian. It is very possible you may find sexual enjoyment in being bisexual. Meaning you would enjoy sex or find yourself sexually attracted to both sexes.
IF you are a lesbian you would have known something was wrong before you hit puberty. If having hit puberty you are finding you are more comfortable with your own sex; then it may be possible you are not a lesbian, that you are just struggling with your sexual identity. This is not uncommon.
Since I do not know anything more about why you feel you are a lesbian I really cannot give you much more advice. What I can do is suggest you take your time and explore your sexuality. That if you decide that you truly are a lesbian that you do not come out as one while you're still in High School. Children are very mean to gays and lesbians for no other reason than they don't understand. Part of the reason for this is their parents still believe being gay is a disease. It is not that long ago that doctors decided they were wrong in thinking it was. so it will take time for society to change their minds.
At one time Black people were seen as inferior to Whites. In fact at one time Blacks were felt to be worth 2/3 of a white person. That has changed considerably during the last century and still has a ways to go. Our view of gays and lesbians will change too over time, until it does for people of your age still in school; the best thing is to be comfortable with your sexuality but keep your sexuality to yourself until you are out of high school.
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Some people find that, during their lives, what they find attractive shifts or changes. Having said that - no, you can't control what you find attractive - you can only control what you choose to do about how you feel - not what you feel.
I think you'll live a happier, healthier life, full of people who love your better and more fully, if you are honest about your sexuality with those around you. Being out as a lesbian might lead you to be bullied, or treated cruelly by some people, but in the end most homosexuals are far happier for living honestly and with dignity and pride, rather than hiding and being afraid.
But that doesn't mean you have to come out today, or tomorrow. You'll be ready when you are ready. My suggestion would be to try not to worry too much about it, but also try to make friends and networks with people who are positive and accepting, and to avoid people who make you feel anxious or ashamed.
You are just fine. Whether you are a lesbian or not, you are just fine. It's really great of you to recognize that you can't be with guys in the way that would be fully honest and respectful of them. That's a huge step and a really kind and self-aware way for you to behave. That's definitely the mark of a good person. You are going to be okay.
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Don't dislike yourself just because you find a girl attractive. You like who you like, it's just who you are. There's nothing wrong with it. If you told your friends that you're a lesbian and they end up not being friends with you afterwards, then they weren't a good friend of yours in the first place. If they can't accept you for who you are, they aren't your friend. You are a good person no matter who you love. Don't force yourself to be attracted to someone else just so you can keep your friends or because you think that what you're feeling is wrong. Don't change yourself for others. Love who you are.
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