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hi, I prefer this to be private coz he might be here
I like this guy since summer last year. I didn't see him irl. We are friends over internet. Uhmm, pls do help coz I have no other person to talk to. This might be embarrassing. I'm falling on him but im trying not to but i can't help it. I can sense that he likes me too. Is this normal to fall a guy over internet coz Im worried.
And how do I get rid of my feelings. How to forget him. Im sorry but i know you can help me coz u helped me already. Thnks so much.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Yes, it is a normal human tendency to not only fall in love over the internet, but experience many other emotions. I will give examples of that in a moment.
Humans tend to place as high a value on internet life and relationships as they do in real life, there is no distinction.
If a person can keep things in perspective and realize that although there is a "REAL" live person on the other side of a computer screen interacting with you, it is not rl, real life and never can be. It is a possibility for some people to meet a internet person in RL and thats when a relationship becomes real.
So you want to know why we have such 'real feelings' then with someone on the internet? Well, that is due to having a mind that is very creative and able to imagine things easily, a mind that enjoys reading a good book for the same reason, it is an escape from RL and when we read about a scene or a character, our mind begins to imagine the setting and actually see in our mind whats going on in the story, not as clearly maybe as watching a movie but that is our mind getting involved. Our mind is also known to be the greatest sex organ. Having sexual fantasies is healthy and enhances ones sex life. So if the mind is capable of sexual scenerio's in the mind that help arouse, why not the feelings of being in love? Of course it's possible. And those are real feelings, but the situation is not real, not any more than you watching a character die in a sad movie and crying your eyes out. It touched your heart and mind and the subconscious mind is where all our emotions come from so the crying is real. The person dying is not...it was just an actor playing a part. Much of the entertainment part of the internet is just that, playing a part.
Now for examples I promises of other emotions one can feel on the internet. I have a friend on a game called SL 'Second Life' and players take it very seriously. And thats where it becomes a problem. Even my friend had an incidence where her Avi was being followed and harassed no matter which site she programmed her AVi to go to. He was stalking her. Remember this is computer avatar being told to move to house, to park, to restaurant in order to keep the male stranger avatar from stalking her but he found her each time. He talked in chat like a predator and scared the heck out of her. She panicked, was so scared that she tried contacting a male friend in the game to come rescue her. He happened to be online, took the coordinates she gave and popped in on the scene to tell the other guy to get lost. She had real fear, I saw her afterwards, she was still shaking. Was there any chance in RL of this unknown guy stalking her? No. There is no way for him to have any information on her. She was perfectly safe. But yet she was scared. I know that people also get angry over someone on the internet too, or jealous, names the emotions, its probably happened somewhere to someone.
As long as someone interacts on the internet with people in chat rooms, dating sites, SL game, other games, they are going to at some point experience their feelings becoming involved. The only way I know to handle not having those feelings is to avoid what is causing it. In your case, it's a pleasant feeling, so enjoy it but don't tell him because it is not in RL. I began to develop stronger feelings for a guy, not love yet, but great attraction and interest to meet in real life. He was awesome on line and lived clos enough to meet, a 45 minute or so drive from me but he kept refusing, avoiding, not wanting to meet for real. So I know what it is like. I eventually stopped talking to him because it was fun on line but wasn't going anywhere. So I know what this is like. I've been there and done that.
I just happen to prefer real life to internet because its too easy for a person to hide things on the internet from you. For example, in SL, having a female avatar doesn't necessarily mean the person operating it is a female. There are plenty people who have avi's the opposite sex, or as fantasy creatures, mermaids, fairies, werewolf, vampires. So for all you know, the female friend in SL could be a fat old bald man who is a shut in and this is his entertainment. He is not female. Imagine a real male with a male avatar falling in love with the old guys female avatar. And imagining kissing and sex with or actually doing that online. In real life, its the minds of two males doing the dialogue and operating the characters. And neither of them can know for sure what the other character is in RL.
SO the only way to forget him is to stop talking to him online. It won't be instant and will take time but as you become involved in more things in RL, and enough time passes, you will get over him
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