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im suffering and im lost!! please help me idk what to do
my husband has been pulling away from me and its finally catching up to me.. idk where I went wrong.. im not handling the fact that I am going to have to leave tomorrow too well.. I cant stop crying.. all I want is my marriage and my family to stay together. what am I gonna tell my kids when they look at me and say "mommy, I wanna go home." or "mommy I wanna see daddy" what do I tell them.. that mommy failed her marriage and daddy wants us to leave?? it got bad last night.. bad enough to where I couldn't think straight or take the pain anymore and I took 20 pain pills and tried to kill myself!! I was out walking when I did this and it was later at night.. I guess my husband and his friend and wife talked me into going to there house where all of them were and I don't remember anything. they said it was bad.. and I seen messages my husband was sending his friend.. why do I have to care and love too much?! where did I go wrong?! I really need help!! (oh and my kids were with family they were safe)
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First of all who said it was you that failed the marriage. Marriage is a 50/50 deal. It takes two people to build a marriage and two people to destroy a marriage.
Now if anyone needs to leave the marriage home it is your husband not you and the children. I don't know where you live but in some states the children stay in the home of the marriage and the parents shuttle in and out when joint custody is awarded.
Do not take whatever your husband is feeding you as gospel. Get your own lawyer. Many lawyers, if you husband leaves you penny less, will work without retainer and take their fee based on what the courts award you.
At the very least your husband owes you child support. This means whatever it takes to keep a roof over their heads, food, clothing and medical needs including health insurance.
Yes the marriage has failed. It matters not at the moment who is at fault. It may not be your fault and probably is not your fault. I'm guessing at this point but from what you have written I see a very controlling husband. Should I be correct then you have not failed he has failed you and the children.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and see a lawyer first thing Monday morning. Do not sign any papers your husband gives you to sign. If you have signed any tell your lawyer you signed them under duress which I believe you did if you signed anything.
Tell your lawyer you need an emergency order ordering your husband out of the home so you and the children can move back in. You also need temporary child support in the amount of, and have a figure in mind to request.
If you and your husband own the home make sure to request that your husband is ordered to continue to pay the mortgage. If you work outside the home then you an offer to pay toward the mortgage as your earnings did when you jointly occupied the home.
Divorce is always hardest on the children. No matter how much animosity there may be between you and your husband the two of you must agree not to poison the children against each other. They are not pawns for you to use to hurt each other.
As to what to tell them; you tell them the truth as much as they can understand for their ages. You start with the fact that mommy and daddy will always love them regardless of whether mommy and daddy live together or not. It would help if you two can do this together. Then as I said answer their questions as truthfully as you can that their ages will understand.
Most importantly though is you need to be represented by your own lawyer and you need to contact one on Monday morning. If you do not know who to contact; call the local bar association.
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