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Gay or transgender
I have been crossdressing for a number of years now. Two years ago I started going out dressed female for the sole purpose of finding a guy that I could give oral sex to. This was and still is something that turns me on so much. Since that first time out I have given 6 guys oral sex. Four of these six guys were just a one time thing and the other two I did it for them multiple times. It dawned on me one day that while I love giving the guys oral sex while I was dressed female that there would be no way I could do that dressed as a guy. I have no idea why this is but a girl I know thinks that I may unknowingly want to be a female full time and that I should try to find a steady guy in my life and transition to a full time female.
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I like the replies that you've had so far and don't really have anything to add but this:
I'm concerned for your safety when I read that you present yourself as a female for sexual activities. Should the guy find out that you're male when he was assuming/expecting female, things could go bad very quickly. Very bad, very quickly.
Just be careful out there. I wish you peace and joy in life.
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I don't know enough about the subject to give you any really good advice. What I think is you know what you want but are unsure because of the labels that might be affixed.
The little I know about the subject says you do not have to dress as a women to be gay. But to be transgender you would be more comfortable in the clothing of the opposite sex. Being transgendered does not mean your gay. It means you feel like you're of one sex trapped in the body of the opposite sex.
That's about all I know on this subject. Do you have to put a label on yourself. Only if it makes you feel better; I don't see any real reason other than that for labels.
I am going to suggest that since you seem a bit confused that you seek out a psychologist who is current in this subject. Possibly one that works with those who seek gender reassignment. You could also seek the help of a sexologist which is a psychologist who practices in sexual problems. Either one should be able to help you understand your sexuality.
For what it is worth I think your are transgender. In the end though whatever label you decide to put on yourself that is who you are and you should enjoy your sexuality and who you are. For this is the way your were born not something you woke up one day and decided to be. You're not ill or weird, strange or anything else. You are you and you should enjoy being you.
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I'm by no means an expert on transgenderism and sexuality, but from the little I know, sexuality is fluid and not always concrete. It's possible that you might be transgender and want to be a woman, but were born as a man. It's also just possible that you have a fetish of crossdressing and performing sexual acts with guys.
I think ultimately putting a label on it might be helpful, but it can also be somewhat debilitating. I think as long as you know what you like, who you are, and you are comfortable with yourself and you can possibly find someone who understands all of that about you and loves you all the same for it, then the label shouldn't matter.
--Jack
(22/m)
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