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my bestfriend of 5years has a boyfriend and i feel replaced
So my bestfriend and i were so close we did like everything together..then she met her boyfriend and ever since then we never hangout..we didnt really before but now..we dont even see each other outside of school..shes always with her boyfriend if they arent hanging out..theyre texting each other none stop. She takes him everywhere ( skiing, niagra falls, resturants, etc)..theyve had more sleepovers than her and i and when i ask if she can hangout all she replies with is " idk"..we were suppose to hang this march break..bascially 2 weeks off and shes always made up an excuse to not hangout.. and then she says she cant hangout this march break..like she cant do anything for me..she never tells me anything and im really sick of it. She treats me like shit. The rest of my close friends all agree with me that its not right that she hasent fixed anything..because i tell her. all the time about how i feel and she just makes it about her ..she doesnt listen to what im saying. I just really dont know what to do anymore
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
This is part and parcel of what a new relationship is like for all of us. We will over-focus on the new relationship because of what it feels like and forget about or neglect other areas of our life either sometimes, or all the time. This usually occurs during a period called the NRE, New Relationship Energy. Teens experience it as well as adults. Its just that with adults, theres a bit more maturity and life experience AND responsibilities they have to attend to so adults are able to keep a more balanced perspective here though it does nothing to lessen the intensity of the draw to be with their new love. So how long does this period last? It can be a handful of weeks or last months or maybe in rare cases a year if the couple doesnt have enough time to spend together. With the amount of time they are spending, in time they will come out the other end and the intensity of the attraction will drop down to more normal levels at which point they both have time for their friends again or the two of them don't like how the relationship feels and realize they are not a good match after all and break up, something common when NRE wears off. Its easy to think some guy is perfect for you and loves you because of NRE, and discover otherwise once it wears off. I can't say how it will go for your friend but in time, you and all your friends will experience it for the first time and likely many more times in your life. I know it feels like you've been abandoned and ignored and treated rudely.
But NRE is like a drug, in fact people can get so addicted to that feeling that they date until the feeling wears off, break up and go for the next person to find their next "NRE" fix. I am not kidding here dear. I've read about it in science and psychology reports and studies. You will understand better whats going on and why it was so easy for her to ignore you and find no time for you when you go through it. You may not handle it at all as bad as she has though but you'll still understand better. Be willing to forgive once she comes to her senses. A true friendship can weather these tough times and continue on after you get back togehter. Can't say how soon that will be. Unless something is really wrong mentally in her life, she should eventually come around.
Blessings.
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Sit down with her and tell her how you feel and I know your happy for her but tell her that it feels like you have been replaced and tell her that you were really close but ever since her boyfriend came in your friendship has gone down hill!
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Sounds like she's not being a good friend at all. I always make sure i balance my friends and my boyfriend. Sit her down and Tell her how you and your friends feel, that you do not appreciate her actions at all and want it to stop. Just be straight forward and honest.. I hope things work out. Good luck
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