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Please give my friend some advice!
Okay so, my friend really likes this girl. But thing is I guess, they have been maybe starting to flirt or talking serous. But he is always complaining that he always catches her texting her ex or other boys, I know her pretty well. Also and i think she is a flirt, and has low self confidence and likes when more than one boy tells her she is pretty. But I also kinda understand if she doesn't like him that way because all three of us have been really close friends. For awhile idk I just feel bad for him I feel like he is getting lead on..if you were in this situation what would you do? or what advice would you give.
Thanks.
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Well, I know as a teenager what it feels like to lead on or to feel that way. First of all, let me commend you on being there for your friend. That is a true friend. Now, on to the situation. I once felt like that girl; having low self esteem and when guys tell me I shouldn't I want every guy to get attached to me. And then when they are attached to me, I can't decide who I want, but the feeling is just right. I can't be mad at her, but I do think it is wrong that she is leading him on. If she likes him and most importantly respects him and his feelings, she wouldn't be doing this. I would talk to her, and let her know your best friends feelings are for you to protect, and not for anyone to hurt. And that she needs to tell your friend that truth, because at the end of the day, your friend will be emotionally damaged if she is not honest with him.
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There are two reasons why a girl might be doing what this girl is doing, you've nailed one of them.
The other is that males and females of any age may decide that they would rather flirt with and date around with several people at the same time as a way to get to know them all well enough to be able to make an informed decision on which one they want to get into a relationship with. Dating is mostly about this learning and discovery process of the other person. To date one person only and promise to exclusively date only them may work for a few but comes back to bite most people who do this type of dating because for one thing, they greatly diminish ones exposure to different types of personalities and issues that come along with different types of people. Without having others to make comparisons against, how is one to know what their favorite type of person is or who fits them best and will make the best boy or girlfriend. Both ways are okay, but theres nothing wrong with this method as long as the one wanting to be dating several people at once is up front about it with the others. I did this once divorced and all the men I talked to were okay with this. It was like they were applying for a job and I was interviewing them in a way. They knew that the guy who was the best match and impressed me the best would get the position, position of boyfriend. The only guys who can't handle this at all are ones that have insecurity issues with themselves as a male, maybe a low self image. But there aren't many with that problem. Among teen boys more likely its because they are just unsure of themselves and don't understand girls yet very well and so they are scared and confused and thats all.
If thats the case, then it would be good for him to studying dating tips from dating coaches. If he does, he'll be ahead of the game compared to other guys who haven't a clue and keep doing the same wrong things over and over.
I have watched many dating and relationship videos because its not only entertaining at times but informative. I have watched dating tips for guys done by girl and by guys and would like to share one of my favorites, a guy by the name Stephan Erdman on you tube. As a girl, watch them too and see what you think. there must be something in this mans videos that apply to him. If your male friend is doing all the right things and this girl show no real interest in giving time to him to find out more about him in depth, then yes, she may be leading him on or if in the spending time together, her interest level in him instead of growing is now decreasing, its probably because theres not enough in common, no real chemistry and he needs to move on.
So heres a couple video links and he can look up more, theres 110 or so.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
And from a womans perspective, Jessica Claire, you tube videos by expertvillage are really great to help guys, here's one:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Jessica's videos are all just over a minute long and get right to the point, he'd do well to study all of them.
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