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Am I bi?
I have been in a relationship with my wonderful boyfriend for over 3 years. I am still very very in love with him. BUT, i am in love with Demi Lovato. She makes me question my sexuality. Sometimes when I masterbate I think of her, and I dream about her constantly. Yes I know she is a singer, but if she ever wanted to hook up with me I would do her in a heartbeat. I've watched porn ever since I was 10 and I always watch lesbian or gay porn. IDK why. I've always been attracted to boys ever since i was in pre school but I did experiment on girls in the 4th grade. Before I got into a relationship with my love, I used to look girls up on Facebook and check their profiles. I love my boyfriend so much, but i'm scared that I'm bi. And if I am, I'm scared to tell him. Please help me. Is Demi Lovato just an extreme girl crush?
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First of all there is nothing wrong with being bisexual. Your boyfriend might even enjoy the fact that you may be which I have my doubts about.
Watching lesbian or gay porn does not make you gay. If you were gay you would know as this is how you were born. Boys would not interest you. Being Gay or a Lesbian is not something you wake up one morning and decide to become.
You didn't give your age so I am making a guess you are in your early to mid-teen age years. What I see is you have a crush on this actress. Nothing wrong with that either. You could just as easily have a crush on a teacher; male or female.
If I'm correct in my guess of your age, what is happening here is hormones. During puberty as the different hormones are released into are bodies they play havoc with us. We start to examine our sexuality, which is good. This is the time we experiment with our sexuality. Yes we the inclusive use of the verb meaning both boys and girls.
There would be nothing wrong and would not mean you are gay if you were to have a fling with another girls. You might even find out more about your own body and what you need to become really turned on, meaning in foreplay or making out and fingering.
Should you be as young as I believe you to be actual intercourse is not something you should be experimenting with. Being fingered, masturbating, and giving hand jobs that is what this time of your life is all about. Going further than that leads to stresses with missed periods you don't need. This will happen if you have intercourse with a boy as you will worry and stress out about being pregnant.
The stress of worry causes you to miss a period. Then you wrote to us and ask for help. We write back explaining what I just said above among other things. So put that off until you are of the adult age and much better to handle that type of situation.
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If it was only her, then I would say it was a crush on her as you guessed. However you did state that you've always had a fascination, strong enough to not just glance at girls but look them up on facebook and check out their prhave great ofiles and the watching of lesbian porn.
Were you influenced by watching lesbian porn? I don't think so. In my lifetime I've seen a lot and can say that as a straight female, nothing has been able to sway me from finding just straight males sexually attractive. I have even experimented with another st araight female to give each other pleasure. I can say there was a certain satisfaction in being able to do so when so many men I find have a problem doing the same. But did I have a deep desire inside sexually of being attracted to her and wanting sex with other females? NO, and neither did she. We could do it cus we were close enough, trusted each other and were curious. It is possible to be pretty much straight but at some point one female comes along and you only develop some of those kinds of feelings for just that one. I've heard that from others. Usually though, if a female is bi-sexual, she is attracted to only one male and can be attracted sexually to many females. I had a girlfriend like that once. She was married and took me and hubby to a club where people of any sort of sexual orientation could meet each other. It was mostly bi's and straight people. I got a chance to talk to several of the husbands over dinner while their wives were busy dancing with other females and being sexual on the dance floor, the men were not into other women and made that clear as I was just chatting. They came along to be supportive of their wives.
So honey, its nothing to be embarassed about. Its part of who you are. Pretending to be something or someone you are not isn't going to last for long and the strain of pretending is very stressful to you. I must advise you to find a way to be truthful and tell him if you are in love as you say and there seems to be a possibility of a long term future with him. Surprises like this later are harder to deal with. But then some of the gals I got stories from, didn't really acknowledge or discover this about themselves until after they were married.
For some reason, guys find the idea of two girls together sexually a great turn on. I don't think there are many men who would have a problem with it. They might be surprised and need a little time to get their minds around the idea, but if you are okay with yourself being that way, and not apologetic but just being factual, sharing the actual facts, he should be able to handle it.
It would be a rare thing for a guy to feel jealous of you being sexual with another female. Another male, yes. A female, probably not unless he was very insecure to begin with.
If you are still a teen and not an adult, you don't have to say anything quite yet as far as I'm concerned cus you're both not adults yet nor moving out to live your own lives. When you are 20 or so and still feel the same way and are still together with him, then have the conversation. And of course tell him the sexual attractions are there, but that you have not met any girl and had an actual physical relationship with her. But the possibility is there and you need him to understand that it most likely will happen at some point in the future. Some women are bi-curious. And once they've have their experiences, they discover it was more curiousity than actual sexual desire for female that had them going. But that's an important thing to discover.
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