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I used a guy as a rebound twice and now I miss him!!
I was dating this guy R for almost two years and almost a year back we had our first serious break up. I started seeing this guy J after that for a week after which I got back with R. Now, a few months back R and I broke up again and I repeated the mistake of going back to J. We had a "fairytale" relationship but after a week or so R came back to me and we started dating again. I told J everything and he stopped talking to me. Things turned a little nasty between me and J. MY boyfriend R treats me horribly still I chose to be with him because I love him a lot. So I have finally decided to end it for good with R. I miss J terribly right now and no I dont mean it in a rebound way. I miss him because he was my best friend and no one ever treated me the way he did. The last time J and I spoke, I hurled a lot of abuses at him (even though it was my fault). I want to apologize to him and get back with him but I'm scared because his friends wont let him talk to me (I think). Plz help!!
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I think you should never ever be with someone who treats you horribly. Baby girl you are worth so much more than that. It doesn't matter if you love a man that treats you horribly he obviously doesn't think to much of you if he isn't treating you like he should. With that being said, i seriously doubt that J is the person for you. I think he's just your safe place...you always go back to him but at the same time you still look to trade up. My advice is dump the bad boyfriend. Apologize to J say something like "hey i messed up & i know sorry can't
Make it better but i'm confused right now & i don't know how i feel but i need a friend more than a boyfriend right now". If he truly cares about you he'll understand. Ya never know, maybe love will grow. I've seen that happen before. If it doesn't don't pursue anything with J. Thats not fair to you or him. Just know this; R & J are not the only guys on the planet theres plenty more where that came from & i just know theres gonna
Be a guy to come along one day & exceed all your expectations. It might take a day or it might longer than a year, but i'll happen. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Don't ever feel like you're obligated to be with someone just because they treat you right, you are worthy of happiness. Stay strong, stay beautiful & most of all stay true to yourself & things will fall into place. Wish you the best of luck!
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You're not gonna get J back.
It's harsh, it's horrible, and it's true. People have a threshold for the things they will put up with, and you crossed his. If you hadn't he's still be around.
Now, you can, of course, try to contact him and see what he says. Chances are that he's not going to scream at you or call you c*nt or something, but things are NEVER EVER going to be what they were. And, in truth, reaching out to him after hurting him like that will probably just hurt him again.
People screw up. You screwed up. You can't always fix things like that... but you CAN learn from them.
If I were you, and you really want to contact J, you should, but you need to say something like, "I was thinking about you and I regret what happened. I just wanted to tell you that I realized my mistake, even if it was too late, and I'm leaving R for good. I know that we can never be like we were, and that it's my fault, but if you ever wanted to get together for (insert dinner, drinks, whatever here) I would love to see you."
Then... regardless of what he does with that, you have to move on with your life. I recommend being single for a little while... which is scary and awful... for like the first month. You need to figure yourself out, and while it's uncomfortable to do, it's rewarding as hell.
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