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Did I choose the right guy?
So, within the past couple of months, I joined a little musical band and I met two guys in the band. One of the guys I was friends with before joining, and the other I met whilst in the band. The guy I first met, I had the biggest crush on him ever. We finally started a little relationship with each other but things became complicated and rocky. The other guy, well he saw how down I was feeling about the first guy and reached out to me and really helped me out through my tough time. Eventually, we both really opened up to each other and I realized that he is such a nice guy and he fell for me even more. Granted, I was never attracted to him in the beginning, his personality became heart warming over time. The thing is, I never fully left the first guy. We were always in that "talking" stage but there were always associated problems. He made me feel like he gave up and wasn't trying. I would tell the other guy these things and he would always try to help me feel better about the situation. I noticed that we grew closer (the second guy) and I developed a little crush on him. I realized how sweet he was and how much he really cared for me. He's not a very social person like the first guy, so it meant a lot more to me that he chose to trust me. When I noticed my feelings growing for both guys, I realized I had to only be true to one guy. I told the second guy that I chose the first because I couldn't not know whether or not we were meant to be. He was hurt but he understood that I always had feelings for the first guy. The first guy, found out how close the second guy and I were and he was a bit upset to know that I didn't trust him enough to talk to him about our relationship problems. I was offended and hurt to know that he didn't trust me but I could also see where he was coming from. He showed me little signs of interest and we never really communicated effectively, yet I still wanted to be with him. I went through a lot with him and I couldn't bear to have my efforts go to waste but at the same time, here's this other really sweet guy who has all these feelings for me and can potentially be a great boyfriend. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I made the right decision. The first guy, my parents love him a lot and his family. The second guy, my parents like him too but not as much as the first guy. Remember I said he's not very social, so he doesn't talk to him much or any one else much for that matter. The first guy always greets my parents whenever he sees them out of respect and his feelings for me. Did I really have feelings for the second guy or did I like the attention he gave me and am I feeling sorry just because of guilt?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
There's this quote by Johnny Depp which I think would apply to you in this situation.
"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”
And I agree with it. With the second guy, it sounds like things were easy and comfortable (e.g., you could share all sorts). Don't hold onto something that could be, or something that was... If things have changed, accept it, and move on.. The first guy worked out etc. but is it still working? He has a good relationship with your family, is it worth sticking out a relationship with him when you're constantly thinking about 'what if' with the second guy?
Good luck!
Venzuela
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