|
this guy likes me but i dont like him HELP!!
Ok,I know what your thinking you just tell him how you feel, but it doesn't work. I have told him like ten times that I don't feel the same way but he keeps insisting and bugging me trying to win me over. He is a real jerk and a big player. While he has been trying to get me to go out with him over the past four months he has had fourteen other girl friends including one of my best friends!! how do I get him to leave me alone?!?!?!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You straight up told him no over and over again. He does need to stop and leave you alone.
Like other says, he likes the chase but not the commitment.
Do you go to school with him and this is where he is bothering you? I'd suggest talking to a teacher, principal or counselor and let them know that this guy is harassing you and you want him to stop and don't know how to make him stop. They'll do something about it. If not, talk to your parents and they should have a word with the school.
]
Some guys are into girls just for the hunt and once they catch the girl and she returns the interest, they dump her. All that these types of guys are interested in is the chase, but not the commitment to a relationship, which is obvious by the 14 girls he has dated in the past four months. He sounds like he may be addicted to the feeling of the thrill of the chase, and the challenge. So the more a girl resists him, the more interested he becomes in winning you over. I had that happen to me in high school with one guy. Luckily he wasn't in any of my classes but he hunted me for a bout 6 months before he finally gave up.
Hopefully your school considers this 'harassment' in their school policies and you need to simply alert them to his behavior. While asking a girl out on a date is not considered 'harassment' sexual or other, repeatedly pursueing her for 4 months constantly asking her, attempting to change her mind can be considered harassment.
Here a link that describles the basics of harassment.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
You could try calling him on it first. Have friends with you to witness this, maybe even film it on their cell. Tell him that you know him better than he probably knows himself and then say: You are the type of guy who is interested in the chase, it gives you a certain excitement and thrill to catch the girl, and once caught, you no longer have any interest in her because you are not into the commitment of a relationship, only into the chase. And I am not willing to be a pawn in your game. If you continue, I will complain to school officials because this is a case of harassment. Asking me out once or twice or even 3 times is not harrassment but constantly hounding me to change my mind for 4 months IS. So if you do not stop seeking me out immediately with intent to change my mind to go on a date, I will take up a case of harassment against you.
If you decide to make the threat about harassment to get him to understand how serious you are, you also need to be willing to go forward with it. You might formulate your story in a document, with chronological documentation of when this started, ask the girls he dated if any are willing to let you give their names as proof that he went out with many girls in 4 month period while trying to pursue you to show he had no real interest in you, just the thrill of the chase. Perhaps your girlfriend he took out would be willing to verify what has been going on, that you are not making this up. An actual cell video taping of him by a friend, approaching you to ask you out and you stating that after 4 months, you are not going to change your mind and ask him to stop harassing you to try to change your mind and go out with him. Have a copy of any such video with this guys responses on it.
Take this to your mom and show it all to her. I dont know if you've said anything at all to her but it would be good to have her support. You may not need to face school officials alone if your mom called and talked to them asking them to do something about the harassment and telling them that you will come into the office to see them in the next day or two with your story. I know its embarassing to have parents come to school but I dont think that is necessary, just a warning call from mom that she agrees with you that this behavior is just going too far, should be enough. Besides, she may have a job during the day thats hard to get away from.
Non of the other girls have been strong enough to hold him off, but you have. So I believe you have the strength to carry this though to the end.
Good luck. Let me know how it goes dear!
]
I realize that you said you told him how you feel but maybe you should tell him again and be straight up with him. "Look I don't feel the same way about you. I would appreciate it if you would stop asking me to go out with you. You keep asking me and I always say no and it's really starting to get annoying. I don't want to go out with you."
If that doesn't work then you're just going to have to ignore him. You said what you needed to say. He will eventually get the hint and stop trying.
]
Oh tricky, a persistant player eh?
Just totally ignore him then. RUN AWAY! If you've let him down easy, told him over and over again, theres nothing more you can do, other than just block him out entirely. Its mean, but he should get the message! Its a game of stubbornness- either you'll give up or he will.
]
More Questions: |