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Like like or friends?


Question Posted Saturday February 8 2014, 1:47 am

Im starting to like A LOT of guys. And there's so many of them that I don't know what it really is. Do I like them as a relationship or just as a close brotherly/friend sort of way. I've never really had a guys in my life because I'm always surrounded by my gender. I do long for a guy best friend or a shoulder to lean on a different gender. I just really don't know what to think anymore that I sit in class and zone out to what it would feel like if they were by my side helping me through whatever problems I have.

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Pittguy answered Sunday February 9 2014, 11:49 am:
You don't mention you age in your question but based on the fact that you are in school, I am going to assume you are probably a teenager or something around that age.

The fact that you never really had guys in your life makes me believe that part of what you are experiencing is just the desire to have some sort of connection with the other gender. This is totally natural and fine.

Sometimes we just find it easier to relate to someone of a different gender on certain issues.

My thought would be that if you seem to have the same type of feelings for all of the different guys you like, you probably do not like them in any romantic sort of capacity. The reason is that if you liked someone in that way, you would most likely be able to tell the difference from the way you like the others.

Of course, it is also possible that you're young hormones are working as they should be and thus you are finding guys interesting or just plan old attractive for biological reasons with no real want or need for a relationship of any kind.

I think that when you come across a guy that you like in that more romantic way, you'll know it.

Good luck.

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Dragonflymagic answered Saturday February 8 2014, 9:02 pm:
You didn't mention age but this is something that happens when one goes through puberty. All of sudden a girl is very aware of and attracted to the opposite sex, to learning all about them, interacting with them and yes experimenting with flirting with them. If you are a bit older and just trying to say that you are finding yourself attracted to several guys at the same time, that is okay and normal too.
For each situation, my answer is that there is nothing wrong with liking, being attracted to, hanging out with and getting to know several guys at once. Until you have experienced the differences in each guy, how are you to know who you truly have the most in common with, the most chemistry with, a connection with in conversation and in how you think, etc. The reason people are forever dating and breaking up in short amount of time is because they made a commitment to someone they knew nothing about and found out in the hanging out together of the dating process that they really don't like or have any strong feelings for the other person. You can do the same thing without making the commitment to be someones girlfriend dating/romance wise. Believe me, as long as you are not making a promise to be someones girl, then guys have no problem sharing you as a friend, and knowing that their friends or other guys will be spending time alone hanging out with you, not just in a group. This puts the guy in the position of having to be the best they can be to win you over to be their girlfriend. A girl in this position is the one in control and will get to choose the best guy for her. The girl who thinks she has to wait for a guy to ask her to date him, is going to be forever worried about not being able to attract a guy to ask her out and so act out of desperation the moment a guy asks, whether he is a nice guy or not, she agrees to date him.
So the thing to do is learn how to approach guys and become friends with them first. Talk to them as you would your female friends. If you feel really lost as to what to do, watch for the guys who are looking at you alot and finding reasons to be near you, they already have an interest. Say hi and chat a bit about school, and classes in common. Then let him know you are just starting to talk to guys and don't even know what to talk about with them, and ask if maybe he or he and his friends would be willing to help teach you how to talk to and understand guys. A guy likes being able to help or rescue the girl and you should be able to find some guys who want to talk to you and over time, they'll become closer friends. And if they all treat you well, you will next be looking for the one that makes you feel like wanting to kiss him.
Hope this helps you a bit.

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