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2 guys like me.
You seem to give good advice. So I'm gonna ask you this question: recently I met this really cute, athletic, smart, kind,charming, guy. I am in love with him and I'm pretty sure he likes me back. Then there is another guy… let's just say he's the exact opposite from the other guy, but I think he likes me. He always tries to tag along when I'm with my friends, smiles at me, and invades my space. I try to show some signs that I don't like him. I scowl at him, goes out of my way to avoid him, and let my friends back cut me so I'll be far from him, but he still acts all flirty with me! I'm afraid my crush will think I'm takin and give up. And my crush is more than a crush. He's like the boy me. The other guy is not my type at all. I wanna tell him flat out I don't like him and never will and to leave me alone, but I'm afraid that maybe I just think he's in love with me but I'd really not, and I don't wanna hurt his feelings. But I don't want the other guy that I'm takin and to give up. What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Sometimes, it isn't obvious to others when one person is crushing on another and the two may be interested in each other.
Most young people don't know how to look for the subtle signs that people give off when they are interested in someone, if guy #2 isn't able to pick up on the clues which really are quite obvious then most people will back off if the person doesnt respond to your presence in a positive manner. I wonder what your friends think of him if he keeps tagging along if none of them are friends with him. What are they saying? Or is no one saying anything at all? Anything other than coming out and having a little clear talk/communication, can always be taken to mean something else. So perhaps, somehow as long as you aren't saying anything at all, he takes that as encouragement. Whether there is or isn't another guy you are dating or interested in, it is a good thing to learn how to bring up the subject and not say anything to totally be mean to the other person. It is not up to you to shield them in case they have a low self image. Thats something they have to learn personally to deal with. So, next time he tags along and tries to get close to you, turn and talk to him. I assume you at least know his name. Tell your friends to go on ahead and you'll catch up. The nice thing to him would be if your friends were not witnesses, if no one witnessed this talk you need to have.
Lets say the name is Steve. You can choose your own words later: "Hey Steve. Hi. I kinda have been noticing that you follow me and my friends around and they aren't friends of yours so that leaves me wondering if you are hanging around trying to catch my attention cus you're interested in me. When you do this----fill in with examples of how he flirts and give examples of his standing too close to you or following you around when not invited, like a lost puppy dog) those are pretty obvious signs that someone really likes you. So answer me honestly, is that why you have been finding every opportunity you can to follow me around like a shadow? Cus if so, even though you may be a very nice guy, I just am not interested in you that way. I hope you understand. I don't even find anything that attracts me right now to even just be friends. Maybe I'll feel differently when I am much older. But right now, I am not interested...sorry."
Say it in a friendly tone of voice. No one needs to be let down with a scowl and a mean tone of voice. If you'd rather not confront him yet...I don't know how long this has been happening, but if its just been days, then after more time goes by without you acknowledging him, he may come to the conclusion on his own. So you may not need to say anything yet. If weeks go by and he is still tagging along after you, you will need to say something.
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