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My bestfriend is making me chose over her or my boyfriend !!!
ok so my bestfriend is making me chose between over her or my boyfriend . I love them both equally but she always feels replaced and gets upset whenever I talk to him. I really don' know what to do! :'( (12/f/UK)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
This is one of the hard adjustments in life that your girlfriend is going to have to learn to go through and how to handle it. Things don't always stay the same. You're all going through puberty and now having interest in the opposite sex. Dating and boyfriends naturally follows. One day she too will have a boyfriend and not have the same amount of time for you and her other friends.
In the beginning of any new relationship, people tend to spend extra time focused on each other, more than they will normally once the newness of the relationship wears down. So in the beginning of dating a new person, it can be true that other friends, and even family get left out as the two are so into each other. Once they've been dating for a while, the couple finds a healthy balance and will find ways to split their focus between their boyfriend/girlfriend and others.
If everyone ignores boyfriends and only focuses on her so she doesn't feel replaced, then how willshe ever grow and learn. You will need to be loveing but tough, tell her that you do care alot about her, that she is not being replaced and that the feelings she is having are needing to be dealt with in her mind because there is no truth to it. Its nothing but negative thinking that will only make her feel worse as she gets carried away imagining things that aren't true. Tell her if she doesn't get over it soon on her own that she might want to talk to a school counselor and get some constructive help on how to deal with her feelings. That is something you can't do for her whether you dump the boyfriend for her or stay with him. Its her issue, not yours. Its unfair of her to make that ultimatum to you and mostly, that is coming out of her immaturity at being young and facing this for the first time. I am sure she still is a good friend so be gentle with her. She's just a little misguided right now.
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