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My parents fight a lot. It all began when my older sister was born. My mom worked while my dad got a degree and "watched" my sis, Sophie. Then I was born and my mom quit so my dad worked really hard to get his degree and then a job. They would always fight about little things ( my moms heritage is the same as my dad but my dad wasn't raised here ) and they took their anger out on us. Sometimes they would get so angry, things were broken and once , the cops were called. Then my brother was born. The fighting never stopped but more attention was paid to him, Adam , then fighting. Nevertheless, the fighting was taken out on us constantly and started to not make us fragile but as hard as stone. I learned what real pain was like while other girls sobbed about their clothes or boyfriend . Now you may ask, why are they still together? My mom stays with him cause she new if she divorced, we would not be able to do the fun things we do with my dad's high paying job. My dad , well I don't no why he stays with my mom. You may also ask how I know all this? Well when my dad or mom or in a mood, they reveal info and little by little I no the hole story. It's getting really bad though. My dad once traumatized my mom for a week causing her to barly or do anything. Now that my Sophie is a little older, 17, she causes problems and it makes matters worse. My dad can't handle it and once he threw a ball at her, hard. It's not all his fault though, my mom emotionally attacks him constantly, saying this or that, it's enough to make a person want to curl up in a ball and hide not for a day,month,year,decade but forever( in other words commit suicide) my dad also is weird a bout the dad thing. He won't do all the things a dad does such as go on family vacations or go to a back to school night event. It hurts me, sometimes I wonder if its because he doesn't love me enough or if he really is tired. My mom also seems to always complain,even at a family get together. The thing that starts a lot of the fighting is tHe money issue. We make round 180 a year but my dad only let's us spend 800 a month! And with Adams increasing hunger and Sophie's desire to own more clothes than abercrombie has, 800is NOT enough. My mom has to use the money we use for emergencies cause my dad won't pay. The weird thing is, my mom doesn't no where the money is going. It gets me worried that my dad might be spending it on.
But through all that fighting they don't genuinely love each other and I feel bad that they only stay together for us.
I don't want to live the rest of freshmen year living this way . Help?!!!!!!
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There is no easy answer on how you can live a stress free year. You've grown up with two disfunctional parents. What I mean is though they may be able to show you love at times in their own way, in other areas, they have zero social skills, zero control over their emotions and feelings which is something I expect from grade school junior and high school ages. Apparently they either never really grew up into adults mentally and emotionally or one or both of them have some mental issues. Maybe the money stress led them into depression or there may be some undiagnosed mental illness of sorts that could account for their behavior. Unless a parent is on some brain altering substance such as street drugs or is alcoholic but you did not mention that.
Parents are not expected by law to do anything other than provide a roof over your head, clothing on your back and food in your stomach. You mentioned hunger, so if there is sufficient money for food and it is not being provided, it may be up to an outside party to determine if the kids are being neglected in that area. It doesn't sound like CPS, child protective services is needed but if any of you are being hit or beaten or fear for your welfare because of certain actions taken against you by the parents, then it is time to talk to school counselors, talk to any relatives you are close to who may be willing to get involved. Living like this is emotionally traumatizing for children to witness and I am sure all of you are going to need counseling as adults to be able to lead a normal life. The whole family, parents included need counseling right now. If Dad earns that much and it's no where to be seen, it could be that he loses it all in gambling. When large chunks of money disappear, it is going to feed a drug habit or gambling.
About the fastest way for you to find a more stress free living environment is to find a relative who'd agree to let you come live with them until you graduate. At that point, you might want to start working and go in with several friends on getting an apartment/a place of your own. It sounds like your siblings are old enough to decide to reach out for help too. Perhaps they find home life easy to tolerate, or have gotten to the point where they just dont care anymore.
I really don't know what options if any there are for you but it all will start with talking to a school counselor and relatives.
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