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My best guy friend
So, I have a best friend that's a guy. I do have a slight crush on him and I believe he has a slight crush on me but I'm not sure. He usually is always "talking to a girl" because I think he has a huge fear of being alone. I told him before break about someone that I was seeing, we got back from break and he told me about a girl he was "talking to." Last night we were hanging out in my dorm room and he is always on his phone, twitter, facebook, news apps, talking to this girl.. you name it. I had my phone on sound and every time I got a text, he almost looked annoyed. I'm fine with him always talking to this girl but then he gets weird when my phone goes off, my roommate was asking how this guy was that I was talking to and I answered her and he started talking to our other friend that was with us. My friend is also very tall, I don't know if it's just his nature to feel like he has to protect what is close to him but he when we are out together, he usually always stands behind me and just watches over me. I never really noticed that he did this until someone at school pointed it out to me, they waited until he left to get something and they asked me "why he is always near you? he stands behind you like he is protecting you from the world. that he is going to jump at anything that comes your way to harm you." After that, I have been noticing that he does seem like that, when he stands behind me, he leans against the wall or puts him arm against that wall behind me. He isn't a touchy person, I don't think he ever has been so he is weird about that kind of thing, hardly ever gives hugs but he is a master at solid eye contact when you talk to him. We also talk to one another about deep things. He often tells me that I am the only one he feels that he can go to with personal things because he knows that I will listen and be there for him. We were talking about relationships one night and he blatantly told me that he thinks it is the guy's job to make the first move. We also both work together for housing at college and it's been going around our staff that something is going on between us because we are always together, where you find one, you usually find the other near. It's odd, my roommate hangs out with us too but he comes up to my room when she isn't here but he will never hang out with my roommate without me but he will hang out with me without my roommate. I just feel like the little part of me that does think he might like me, gets overruled but the fact that he is a nice gentleman. He is like this with everybody and if he does like me, why is he always talking to other girls all the time? Am I reading too much into this or do you think maybe he just doesn't want to ruin our friendship?
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One thing that guys dread is getting stuck in the "friend zone", and not being able to move forward to dating. So I don't think that he may worry about ruining a friendship if he has more romantic feelings towards you.
Perhaps he has made no move because he is waiting for some sign from you of romantic interest in him if thats what he's looking for.
Right now I am picturing someone like this showing interest in me and it freaks me out to be honest. I get strange vibes just from the words you chose to explain. Of course being in my fifties with lots of life experience with different relationships with men, the good, so-so and very bad, I see some things that are warning signs to me of real possible major character flaws that could result in being in an abusive relationship. He might be a quiet shy type, a bit unsure of himself and thats all...which is harmless. If others have noticed him standing near you acting like a protector, and it's okay for him to talk to women, but he becomes upset when you get a call, thinking its another guy interested in you, those right there are possible signs of a jealous man, one who can be a controller, and abusive in some way. If he is such a person, they are attracted to weak people who don't know how to stand up for themselves, don't seem to have their own lives or are very dependant on others, etc... because those are the people easy to 'control' to do their bidding. The solid piercing eye contact from a person devoid of any emotional show is also unnerving. Reminds me of a hawk waiting for its moment to pounce on prey. Saying nice things and being a gentlemen could be for real, and could be a sign of problems. How much do you know of his past, growing up, what his fears are for example. If he had abusive parents in some way, its a good possibility he could be so. If you never seen him display any warm friendly gestures, being touchy-feely, or giving hugs, good sense of humor and laughs often, then its a good possibility of him being a harsh person, who does not know mercy and forgiveness. You have not been asked to date him yet nor answered in the affirmative. But once you do, if you know how he treats you starts to change for the worse, its' time to get out immediately. Even then it may be hard. You can have feelings for a person who is wrong for you or mistreats you and take makes it hard to leave.
I know this is all one sided, sharing the possibilities of a dark side to him. I just want you to know ahead of time of this so if you do start dating and it all goes south, at least you'll understand what is happening is not healthy and to get out right away, regardless of your heart ties to him. That can heal in time. It is much harder to heal the spirit of a person who has been abused.
It could be that you left out some crucial information for me so thats why I see warning signs in the description you gave.
But if you see something you don't like in him and want him to stop hanging around you like he owns you, then you may have to stop the friendship and ask him to stop hanging around you like a shadow. Hope all goes well for you dear.
I feel that if you felt the need to write us about this to begin with, that deep down, your inner voice was trying to tell you something, that you don't feel something is quite right.
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