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I left my husband, for a man who left me... A man who I would do anything to get back. Do I try with my husband? Will I ever get over the man I cheated with?
I am a 32 year old wife and mother of 2. I have been married for 10 years and with my husband for 16 years total (since high school). My husband and I have always had a good relationship for the most part but has always lacked communication, affection and support from his side. I know I'm not perfect but always showed I loved him and tried to communicate with him. Over the past 2 years I have endured a lot of stress in my life. He has not been there for me. I ended up turning to another man approximately 14 months ago. We became intimate and fell in love. Problem is he is married as well and is 15 years older then me. For about 6 months we have vowed we would be together. I separated from my husband. He told me he would do the same with his wife because life is too short and he wanted to be happy. However, recently his wife found out about our affair. Now his 17 and 20 year old daughters know about it. They have told him if he ever talks to me again they will never have anything to do with him. This made him panic and he has since left me. He doesn't think his girls will ever forgive him if he doesn't stay with their mother. I have fallen apart. I love him so much but don't know how to get him back. Or if it's possible for his girls to be in his life again if he chose to be happy with me. Now I'm not sure what to do. Do I continue on and be separated from my husband? It's so scary to be on my own and as a single mother. My husband is a good person and a great father. However, I'm not attracted to him at all or feel I love him. Will I ever get over the man I cheated with? If I do is there a chance I can find the love with my husband again? Or do I start fresh. I'm so confused, heartbroken, and lost. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. More then anything I want to be with the person I fell in love with a year ago. I thought he was everything I could ever want. But has in turn hurt me so bad, but he has been put into a bad situation. Where do I go from here?
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Your married. You said I do take your vow. His daughters will forgive him. But what about your kids? That or your better off alone. Because your poor husband stuck by you and your kids probably work. You need to be honest.
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Both of the relationships are over.
We will start with your husband
A marriage cannot work if two people are not willing to work together. If you still want to make things work then I suggest talking to him about marriage counseling and get your marriage some help. You both were together for a long time with lack of communication and affection which tells me that counseling may actually do you some good. If not, Then you need to do the right thing by telling your husband you are not happy in the marriage and want to file for divorce.
The married man
This man was married, Any man that is married and is having an affair obviously isn't really one I would want to be involved with personally. This man had lack of heart and was willing to risk his own marriage and his relationship with is children for another women. How is possible that you think it would have ever gone the way you wanted it too nor worked out in the long run? The man had an affair and already proved his is dishonest and cannot be fully trusted. A man that is married should be someone you stay away from, Of course he is going to rethink wanting to be with you if his daughters are not willing to speak with him. His actions were hurtful and wrong and as far as trying to proceed or look into getting him back, I would do right by moving on and leaving the man alone.
Nobody ever said marriage would be easy nor the single life, but if you want to save your marriage you are going to have to try and work at it. Talk to your husband, Express how you feel and learn to work together to fix the problem. You can start fresh if you feel that it is fixable but remember it takes TWO to make it work not one.
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