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Feeling left out
I've never been an overly popular person but lately at school I've been feeling more and more isolated. My best friend has recently got a boyfriend so is spending increasing amounts of time with him and I don't want to interfere with them because it'll just be awkward. My best friend is also very close to a couple of male members of staff at our school; she treats them more like friends. They give her quite a lot of attention (nothing inappropriate), I'm with her most of the time and I get on with these staff members too but they only ever talk to her and they have inside jokes that I don't understand. This again makes me feel inferior to her..
I feel as though I'm not really good enough and am always a tag along - no one really minds if I'm there or not. This is furthered by the fact that the boy I have a huge crush on doesn't make any effort with me. I've been told many times that he is mad about me but I find it difficult to believe when he rarely initiates conversation with me and if his friends turn up I'm instantly forgotten (although I don't know if it's just because he's shy). All of this is really getting to me at the moment and I'm starting to struggle in lessons and teaxhers are calling my parents because they are really concerned. I really don't know who to talk to about it though.
Sorry for the length of this post!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First off, you don't have to be sorry for the length of your post. You can use whatever number of words or paragraphs are necessary to allow us to better understand your situation.
I'm going to respond to your question in a bit of a backwards order here. As far as the boy issue goes, it's quite possible that he is "mad about you" but isn't quite sure how to act on it. Take it from a guy, we can be awkward when it comes to a girl we like. Maybe he sort of avoids you when he is with his friends because they kind of help him relieve the nervousness that he feels around you.
I know how it feels to get down on yourself. However, if you really take a moment to stop and think about it, there is only one person who can determine how you feel about yourself - and that person is you. How others respond to us only affects us if we let it. If we choose not to let it, it doesn't have to have any power over how we view ourselves. This is all based on scientifically proven studies and methods of cognitive behavioral therapy.
You are not inferior to your friend. You are just two different people and there’s nothing wrong with that. I personally think that if you allow yourself to feel better about yourself, other people will sense that. And when others sense it, they'll be more likely to engage in conversation with you and possibly even be friends.
As far as your studies go and the teachers calling your parents, it is probably a good idea to share your feelings with your family. I'm sure they care about you and will support you in any way that they can. If you're not comfortable with that, or even if you are, speaking to a counselor wouldn't be a bad idea either.
Above all, remember and recognize that you are a worthwhile person.
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