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Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar.
14/f.
I started high school in August but I actually started about 2 weeks late because I was in Mexico. I live in California. My grandmother was my everything. I loved her so so much. I hadn't seen her in about 8 years. On July 4, my aunt called my mom to tell us that she was in the hospital. Devastated we said we'd go to Mexico if she got worse. July 6 she had surgery because something was going on with her kidney. She was getting better but July 8 everything went downhill. She got super bad. The next day my mom and I drove to Mexico. I had asked questions about this because I can't handle stuff like this. Long drives, and the fear of being too late and my grandmother passing away. I've never physically lost anyone like this. About 2 months before all this, my boyfriend of 9 months dumped me for a girl he knew I hated. From there I stayed up miserable. He was my first love. The first guy I did EVERYTHING with. I was so heart broken that I began to self harm again. I use to because I got bullied and he helped me get through it. But I felt like I had no reason to stop since he was gone. And then to find out months later my grandmother was basically dying was the worst feeling ever. I needed him more then ever & he wasn't there. I stayed in Mexico for a month and that day came... The day I never wanted to face. August 4, 2013.. My grandmother passed away. I didn't get to say goodbye, I feel guilty cause i was with her when she took her last breathe but I couldn't talk, I couldn't cry. I was just feeling so broken. I've never felt that way. I usually didn't like seeing her in the hospital because I couldn't handle it until she came home then I saw her every day and tried to spend as much time with her even though she was basically on her death bed. I've never been to a funeral until hers. I came back August 19 and started school the next day. It was my first day of high school not to mention I already had too much in my head. I had so much stress. September 18 was the day I started talking to my ex. We got back together and lasted 2 weeks. He dumped me and left me for the girl I hated again. I had told him about my grandma and he still had the audacity to hurt me again. November 7, I got a message on Facebook and it was my ex. He was telling me he was miserable and wanted to kill himself because he left me. We hung out On the 9th and it didn't go good, but we worked it out and were together now. We have so many struggles. He had cheated on me & had left me for a girl twice. I know I'm stupid.. I feel like I have too much stuff going on and I don't know how to make it work. I think I'm depressed and bipolar. All these stuff messed me up. How can I get a diagnosis or something? And any advice on how to be able to trust and make it work with my boyfriend? Thank you so much , I apologize for typing a lot !
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
My best advice to you is to get some counseling. I don't think you are bipolar from what you are telling me, but I do think you have some type of depression from everything going on. That is why I highly recommend talking to someone about it because I can tell you from personal experience that therapy really does help. I also think that you and your boyfriend should talk about everything that had happened and try to forget about the past and move on because you can't change the past, but you can learn from it and I hope that you two can work things out because it sounds like you really care about each other. I hope that I helped somewhat. I am so sorry for your loss too. Take care.
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