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My mother is having an affair.
I am in a very difficult situation. At the moment, I am living at home with my parents on some time off from school. About two months ago it was revealed that my mother was having an affair. My parents decided to work things out, and my father in particular has being working very hard to try to improve their marriage. Today, my mother came home from visiting her brother and informed me that she would be going back out later. I asked, out of curiosity, where she was going. She replied that she was "Seeing a friend." It is very unlike her to respond in such a way, as I've met all of her friends and normally she would be more specific. After she left I logged into our cell phone provider's website and looked at her phone records. I know that that is an awful thing to do, but I was right to suspect her. A few hours prior, she made a call, for two minutes, to the man who she had been seeing. They are still out now, and she isn't answering her phone, according to my father, who called her to tell her that he is getting off work early. I don't know what to do. Should I tell my father? Should I confront my mother? I want to move out, as I don't think I can live in this situation, but I simply don't have the funds. I am really lost, and this situation is just awful.
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This is a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation. Whatever you do you come out on the losing end.
Fact: Your mother is an adult women responsible for her own actions.
Fact: Your mother for whatever reason is fully conscious of her affair with this man and what the results may be.
Fact: As an adult your mother is not responsible to you for any of her own actions nor you as an adult responsible to her for your actions.
Fact: You snooped someplace you should not have and now you know something you should not have known and it hurts you. The question is what to do about it.
The answer is nothing; as much as it hurts you to be knowledgeable of this situation anything you do will only cause you and or your father harm if you tell him. If you confront your mother I foresee and argument you cannot win with her causing you more hurt.
If you normally live at school during the school year then the best thing you can do for yourself is to stay at school as much as possible. In this way at least you won't have to see what your mom is doing. As for your dad you need to be there and be supportive of him for when he does find out.
Should he find out that you were knowledgeable of mom's continuing affair. If I were him I believe I would understand that you withheld this information so as not to hurt me. I might initially be hurt but I would eventually come to understand why you did not come right out and tell me when you became aware of it.
As I see this you are in a no win situation. Someone or all of you are going to get hurt if you discuss with them the information you now have. Of course you are only asking for my advice in the end the decision is yours to make.
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