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No contact etc
Say if a christmas miracle happens and he goes to hang out with me one last time would it be bad if. I was positive and became self confident in myself and become attractive spen a fun day with him and then dissapear? To just reassert a more positive image of myself in his eyes and then see if he will miss me and rethink his decision?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hon, if it were so easy to change a character trait, a way of acting, a bad habit, to just decide to do it and like the flick of a switch, all of a sudden you have made some positive changes, then if it were that easy, all the smokers in the world who want to quit smoking would be able to do it overnight. Thats not how life works. Its a lot more complicated than that.
There's nothing I can really say that will help you. The best way to learn out of life is to just go with your gut feeling cus it's likely something you are meant to experience. There's no promise your experiences will be all fun and roses. The only real growth any of us ever do is through going through painful, unfair, harsh, disappointing experiences. Some people become hard and bitter and disillusioned. And others are able to still find joy in life and go on no matter what. So what is the difference?
Let go of expectations...those things you imagine in your mind how things should turn out...cus life comes with twists and turns that can't guarantee it and people who understand this are able to learn from their experiences.
Keeping an open mind toward change is important. Most of us hate change cus its scary, but change is important or we stay stuck in a rut for our entire life or at least a long time.
Asking yourself what could you possibly learn from what you are going through, there is always something we can learn. When I left an abusive ex, I had to learn how to forgive him, and to trust other men and not compare them to him. Your inner voice, belongs to your higher self...just keep asking what you are supposed to do, what are you supposed to learn. Some think that inner voice is their angels speaking to them and that may be. If you don't ask, you won't get the answers but the answers really do lie within you...believe me, I know from having to do the same...and I got my answers...
the answers may not be what I wanted to have happen. But I can tell you that each time I had a dissapoint or things not go as I imagined, my angels were able to move me on to the next step in life of what i was supposed to experience because I was flexible and not stubbornly clinging to something that was falling apart and going wrong. I have been able to experience far greater blessings by moving on, many times in life, than by staying stuck.
I was just watching a you tube series done by men for women to help them understand guys. The guys were mid 30s to 40 but talked of how they were when younger. SOme did stupid things but they soon learned they were attracted to 'strong' women...not physical strength but women who had a good self image, felt sure of herself and her ability to talk to men, and loved and enjoyed the company of men but did not "need" them. She was not clingy, not asking when they can get together next, not calling or bugging him all the time and that is what makes a woman very uncontrollably attractive to a male. The problem they said is that at age 20 or so, females don't know how to be like this yet. Its seems it is something that is learned over time, with age. So women in their thirties and older are more attractive because they have figured it out. Its a rare teen or college age girl who can be like that without having to learn it. If you are ready to start becoming that mature woman, do so for your self, not because you want to attract a guy. You will find once you are focused on personal growth and really making strides...not in a day or two but over the years, then eventually guys are going to notice you, and you may easily have many guys coming after you because you are what a guy really wants...a strong self assured woman.
Don't believe me? Start doing searchs on you tube and watch some dos and donts for girl on dating, what guys want, that sort of stuff. I am 55 years old and I have men coming after me all the time. I am married but they don't even think to check if I am, they just see a self assured strong woman who knows what she wants out of life, and they find that attractive and sexy. Guys I don't know who are friends of friends on face book find me and ask to date me, say they are single and looking for someone like me. So I am not kidding you hon, but what you need to learn can't be learned in a week end or a couple months.
The most i can offer to help is in helping you find videos to watch that will help teach you if you are ready to stop thinking about guys and focus on yourself, that 365 days a year...focusing on personal growth and not looking to save a relationship or find a relationship with a guy. But dont beleive me...go ahead and do what you think you need to do to get this guy or another. And you will fail because if you are not focusing on personal growth and learning...then you are on the path of failure in relationships.
No matter what path you take, I wish you learn something from it. Happy holidays dear.
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