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Hello
thanks for answering my question but sadly almost everyone that answered missed the second part where I said this
"a very disappointing situation that just came from it. There was a tutor I worked with for math at my college. She's great and a wonderful person to be around with. My class ended about two months ago. I had to go to college for something I thought it would be a great opportunity to just go in the tutor lab and say hi and chat with her a bit. A friend of mine said he was going to be there as well so he said come in at the same time to work on some stuff so he said to me come when he is there. This is perfect because having a friend of mine there can make me more comfortable and help me create conversation. Now it is not like I want to get in this girls pants or something (hell she is engaged) but I just wanted to have a conversation about stuff and not be a completely anonymous person. I am so envious of all the people who are able to just go up to people and just chat. I can't do that at all.
so I go there, but instead of going inside I get too anxious and just paced around outside of the place for like ten minutes and then just when I was thinking of going inm, she leaves (turns out she was leaving early today). I am so frustrated now and filled with regret. My freaking anxiety totally prevented me from just going in just to say hi.
there's a chance I can see her again some time but I have no idea what the schedule is going to be like. And with my friend being there today, this was such a perfect opportunity and I wasted it,
"
I am wondering how do I get over this regret? I really wanted to talk to her then and it was a great opportunity and I totally missed it. Also you have any tips incase I see her again?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
There isn't much you can do with regret, probably why I and others didn't answer. The answer is actually quite simple, since a part of you feels you let the other part of you down, you have to forgive yourself. It's not like having to forgive someone or yourself for committing a bad thing, it's more for the ommission of something that is important to you. If you find yourself able to do this, it should help. There are two people inside of you, one the awake self ruled by your conscious mind and the inner child ruled by your subconscious mind where all our feelings and emotions lie. So since the subc. mind covers and rules feelings, it is actually your subc. mind that has a problem with the regrets. You may want to do some studies on working with your subc. mind, get to know it better like a separate person inside of you. Many people battle theirs as if they are fighting with a sibling. Others without knowing it, have befriended theirs. Ever catching people talking to themselves? They knowingly or unknowingly are talking to their subc.
As for tips on how to talk to one particular person. Don't limit yourself. Study how to get over your shyness first, gain confidence and the rest will come easily. Even once we are ready to face something we didn't before, the opportunity may or may not ever be there again. If so, learn to seize the moment which you'll only be ready to do once your and your subc. are cooperating together. Less nice emotions such as fear also come from your sub. Its like handling a child that fears there are monsters under its bed. You can't just say. Get over it, be brave, theres nothing there. You have to talk to the child for a while and talk him/her into learning how to deal with these fears and realize that fear is the worst enemy, and once faced and pushed into control, like a bully, it will stop trying to make your life miserable. Your subc. is responsible for the fear to talk to people and also responsible for the regrets. Remember, the subc can act like a little child, your inner child can be trained. Talk to yourself. Give your subc. a name like I did, it makes it easier. I can mine Selena. Tell your subc.(Let's call it John) it has no right to make you miserable with regret when John was unwilling to push himself past the fears. Tell John that his fears are unfounded, that nothing bad or terrible can happen from talking to people. Every person out there has at times also been at a loss for words or said something lame or dumb. If we're not talking about immature highschool and youner kids, then the adults you interact with should not ever treat you weird or want to avoid conversation with you or ridicule you. You could also ask John why he has these fears to begin with. I find sometimes that things my awake self has no problems or issues with are actually indeed very big things to my inner child. When I have asked Selena repeated why she is acting a certain way, or in one example, why am I feeling kinda quiet and withdrawn right now in conversation with husband. Selena quickly told me she was upset with the fact the hubby had been working extra jobs lately and putting them first and not having any time for us. My awake self had no problem with it and had actually told him to go ahead and work, it was fine. But Selena didn't like it. hahaha, it really is like having two people inside of you. I know this all sounds crazy but its basic psychology and also something that was taught in the ancient Huna religion of the Hawaiian priests. Dont know what more I can say. If anything I said is not clear, just ask again.
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