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newly married.no sex.husband cannot ejaculate but can masturbate.
i am 25 and he is 29.married for 1 yr.
we have tried doing sex but he has never ejaculated inside me. he is not able to maintain an errection. but he is able to masturbate by himself. we have tried a very few times because he does not seem to be interested in sex. even if he starts to touch or kiss me and he arouses then he sayd comes lets play some game..or watch movie or its getting late lets sleep and changes topic somehow( this happened like for 4 months after marriage) after that this also has stopped.. he is not into - drinks, smoking, any affair.. we went to the doctor a few days back for general check up and spoke about this issue too, he said he can run few tests but his guess was there was some phycological problem.results came out and doc said his hormone level is normal.and said it must be all in his mind.. problem is his errection doesn\'t stay long.. it goes off like in a minute after inserting. and on asking my husband why he in not able to do it. he says that i don\'t have a feeling/desire to do sex. my mind is not ready to do that\'s y i m not able to ejaculate inside. the feeling should come from inside to do it but i don\'t have it.i don\'t kno what to do, he simply gives this reason. and after telling i ll have to inform it to my parents..everyday he is like come we ll do sex.. i don\'t kno if he is just acting so that i wont tell my prents or really has got a desire for sex..i m so worried what decision to take. he is generally a good person. takes me out, buys me stuffs. but he says he hasn\'t got the feeling from inside to have sex. i don\'t know how to take it.he had his physical examination.. doc said its fine.. no problem unless he can masturbate. i ve asked him many times.. do u want to have sex but you aren\'t able to achieve because if some damn reason or u just don\'t want to have sex.. he says.. i don\'t have a feeling to have sex which should come by itself,, i just don\'t get the desire to have sex.
some people give idea how to have a baby...my question is not just to have kids.. he feel he just doest have a desire towards sex.. or me or whatever,, how long this relationship can last? he has never ejaculated inside me since wedding.. not even once.. so if we do some method just to have kids.. whats does our relationship really mean?.
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Unless he is in major depression which the doctor would have covered and asked about, there is no physical reason for him to not be able to do so.
I hate to have to ask but since it was an issue for myself, i didn't have sex with husband(now ex), before marriage and though he could get hard, there was no sexual chemistry or compatibility.
I wonder if you had sex with him before marriage. And if so, if the problems was there then? If it was, my next question would be, why the heck did you marry? If there was no problem, it could be due to something like New Relationship Energy, NRe which at the beginning of a relationship heightens all the experiences, makes it all seem more intense, and wonderful and could explain for it working for him then, being the first times he had sex with you. If you were a virgin when you married (I did so due to church doctrine, that we must be virgins) then like me, you had no idea what you were getting into.
When a man has no feeling or desire to have sex, it's either due to his hormones being low in which case a dr prescribes meds and problem gone. I dated a guy who had low hormones since his early 30s and he took the meds all his life and he had great sexual desire.
The other reason, is that the female he is with is not the right one to cause him to feel sexual desire and want. It doesnt mean theres anything wrong with you. The two of you may be the best of friends but a marriage needs not just a base of friendship but of sexual compatibilty too to be a healthy marriage. You both just don't realize yet that such a thing as sexual compatibility and chemistry exists. but it is very real. and if you dont have it in a relationship, there will never be any in the relationship.
It's hard to end a relationship as husband and wife due to something like this. You may feel that if you end the marriage, you are admitting to failure. Neither he nor you did anything wrong you just weren't the right person for each other sexually. So it is not a failure to let it end now and work to find someone with whom you do have sexual chemistry. So if you have church beliefs too, I'm going to tell you right now that if you want to avoid this happening again, you had better think twice about not checking out a guy sexually before marriage. It doesnt mean youre a loose girl who sleeps around, you just are verifying by becoming sexual with him that it works for more than just the NRE stage of your relationship ship but 3 to 4 months later too.
The only other thing could be is that he has not realized he is gay yet
Or heres one that isn't discussed often, it could be that he has no desire for either, neither male nor female because in his brains growth in utero and as a baby it was subjected to certain chemicals which scientists have proven can have these affects on males, to not desire either sex and in many cases the genitalia was much smaller.
The chemical I am thinking of is called bisphenol A (BPA) and now baby bottles are made without it, but they weren't during the time I was feeding my babies or your mom was feeding you. I breast fed so my girls are okay. It can affect females too in other ways. There may be other chemicals and toxins we take in over our growth as kids and teens that can affect us too...the studies on affects are only just starting. Since its a developemental thing, theres nothing that I've heard that can reverse it. My daughters are in your age range. Some have complained it hard to find guys they liked who also had a sex drive. So it may affect quite a few guys. Your husband will continue to be non sexual and only masturbate to take care of his need for release while you won't ever get any. That is not healthy and not fair to yourself.
I really think it would be a good thing to discuss with the parents and get their support for you to proceed with ending the relationship. Whatever you do, you don't want to raise children who don't see a normal healthy love and desire between the parents cuz that will warp their mentallity just as kids who see dad abuse a mom go on to be abusers themselves, your kids could end up with sexual psychological issues themselves that were "Learned" from observing the two of you...it will be all they know as normal.
So either you remain married, have a sexless life and no kids, or promise to remain friendly towards him but end the husband wife relationship and go look for someone who is a better match.
I know its not what you're hoping for but theres no magic wand that will fix this
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I am going to throw a few things out here...
He may be stressed ir depressed?
And the other possibility which I know you don't want to hear is he may not be attracted to you sexually. Unfortunately, We can love a person but sometimes we loose interest sexually and sometimes physically. We don't always know it but it happens.
Worst case senerio.... Is there any chance he may be gay?
Is he on certain medications?
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