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Guy Trouble
I am 24 years old and I have been working as a volunteer at Free heart which is a men's drug and alchohol rehabilitation center . well there is this guy that goes there which just happens to be one of my ex's he dosn't remember me I know this for a fact because about a month ago he said nice to meet you and shook my hand and then last night he wroste me his address on a napkin and said that I could write him if I wanted to but I don't know if I could get in trouble or he could get in trouble for writing him by the manager of Free heart . I also wanted to know what yall thought about me writing this guy the whole reason I broke up with him was because he is an alcoholic but he has been improving I see that for myself he hasn't skipped any of the meeting at freeheart. my cousin who is a preacher told that he didn't see anything wrong with writing this guy because thaT is the only commincation that we are going to have with each other besides seeing each other twice a week at the mettings for like an hour that's 2 hours a week . what does everybody on here think ?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
My personal gut feeling is that if someone did not remember me from about 8 yrs ago, especially someone I dated, then I was not very memorable to him. Or it could be that the entire time he was seeing you he was so drunk he couldn't remember you.
My daughters are in your age range. If you look at their pics from 8 yrs ago, you can easily tell it was them. You'd have to have changed drastically for him to not recognize you.
Before you do anything, even if it seems harmless, ask the person in charge (the manager) if it would be okay. They may have rules against writing someone or having any contact with someone in treatment, outside of the treatment program.
So the question is, Do you want to write him, really have a burning desire to do so? Ask yourself why? Is it because of a nurturing caring side your personality? IF so, keep in mind that you can't love and nurture every person who may need it. If you are single and hoping to find a mate yet, then take the time to ask yourself some questions as to what it is you are looking for in a guy. Do you believe this guy has all those qualities despite the fact he is recovering from drinking.
Most women want a man who can be trusted, communicates well, pays her compliments, does loving things for her, upholds and supports her in anything that is meaningful to her, enjoys being with her even if not doing anything special, can't stand being apart from her and is your sexual equal in bed and wants to please her and learn more to make sure she is always totally satisfied. Once he is done with treatment, if you really are drawn to him and find him attractive and feel there is chemistry at least on your part, then check him out if you really have no idea about him from before when you dated.
Good luck dear.
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It sounds like you must have dated a while ago, given that he doesn't remember you. I know that people can change for the better if they really want to. In my opinion, I wouldn't jump right in to it, as he is still a recovering alcoholic, but maybe just keep him at arms length, you know. 2 hours a week isn't a lot but make sure to not speed things up until you know for sure this guy has changed. Otherwise you'll just be back in the same sinking boat you jumped out of last time. Writing to him doesn't really sound too bad but it could give him the impression the you want more. Not many people have the strength to admit their problems and get help, so that's a good sign, that he's willing to get better. He needs as much encouragement as he can get but, from personal experience, flirting and/or a relationship may be a distraction.
Just play it by ear! See what happens, but don't jump in to anything too quickly. And I think writing him would probably be fine, but I would definitely check with whoever is in charge there, just to be sure you won't get in trouble!
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