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Not sure how to get rid of this guilt!
I am a female, currently 14 but when this happened I was 13. Do not tell me that I was too young for this, I KNOW. I made mistakes, we all have. Anyway my (ex) boyfriend was 16. Him and I broke up on March 28. About 2, 3 months ago. I can't get over this break up. No its not just cause he was my first love, it's because I've been hiding something. Him and I had been fooling around. We were on and off since like 2 years ago but this time we lasted 8 complete months. And during those 8 months, I gave him several hand jobs. He gave me hickies on my neck and chest, fingered me, played with my breasts, and titty fucked me. I couldn't find a proper term for that sorry /.\ well that went on everyday for 1 or 2 months. When suddenly that day came when he told me he had cheated twice on me , the first when it had only been our 3rd month of dating, and then he also cheated when it was our 4th month dating. Obviously you could guess how extremely stupid I felt. We did those things for a while and he lied to my face. I felt disgusted, I felt like I had gotten used. I still wanted to work it out for sake just because I didn't want to feel stupid for doing that and letting him do that to me. I will get over it cause I mean it happened. But I just can't. Whenever I tell someone that I feel sad about him they just say " but he cheated on you! " but they don't know that we did all that stuff.. I'm just kind of hooked on to that & I have no clue how to tell anyone because I'm so ashamed of myself. How can I get the guilt out of me? :(
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I think I kind of understand how you're feeling about this. I'm a bit confused though.
Do you feel guilty because you messed around with him?
You don't need to be ashamed of what happened. You already know you are too young for that, but that's how I can understand why you feel so bad about this. Young girls normally get attached when they get physical with a boy. They give themselves to boys and then those boys betray them. You thought you could trust him and trust him with your body. That's why people give advice to wait until you are older.
Anyways, the way you move on from this guilt is to let it all go. You need to accept that what happened has happened and you can't change it. The past is now in the past.
You don't need to tell people what happened between the two of you, not your friends. They won't be able to help you the way you need to be helped. They'll just ask questions, feel a little sorry for you and then gossip. I would suggest to talk to an adult you trust. They have more life experience and they can actually help you get through these feelings.
It will be awhile till you are over him. You really cared about him and he really hurt you so it's obvious that it would take awhile. Just focus on yourself. You learned from your mistakes so don't put yourself down for it, someday it will be useful to you. I mean maybe one day you'll meet a young girl who is struggling with a similar problem and then you could help her.
So don't go to your friends for advice on moving past this, go to an adult that can help you move on.
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this is so weird, but I'm sure you've heard this before, dear you're still a little young, I know you don't think that but it's the truth, you're going to be dating tons of people in the future and all of this is going to be a big joke for you then. for the time being you can distract yourself from the pain by dating another/other guy/s, believe me you are hooked on him because you haven't replaced him...
replace him and all should be fine after a while;)
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