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How to break up with an emotional guy and still be friends
I am a 15 year old girl and I am currently in a "relationship" with a guy who is the same age. We met from one of our classes, and he never talked to me, but a couple of months ago he messaged me on facebook, and things got pretty intense. We talked 24/7 and he said the most amazing sweet things. He's really deep and we had this crazy connection on facebook, we had tons in common, and shared a lot of personal things. However, we didn't talk at all in person; we were too nervous. But finally we got over it a little bit and decided to be officially dating about a week or so ago. But whenever we talk I'm always carrying the whole conversation because he doesn't say anything, he's really tense and awkward even though he is a REALLY outgoing guy with everyone else. Guys mess around and flirt with me all the time and for the most part, it can be pretty fun, and that's what I want from him. It's like in person the only guy that doesn't make me laugh is my boyfriend. So I've sort of been avoiding him for a few days because I don't really like our relationship, but then he sent me this:
"Being around youis like being a man who just won the lottery twice, it's like when you wake up and the sun is shining through your window and you know it is gonna be a great day, it's like a warm cup of cider on a chilly day. But then I realize that I haven't won the lottery, or any of that, but that I am with you and I think, I am so much luckier than a man who won the lottery. I have noticed that until we met, I wasn't happy. I tricked myself into believing I was, but the happiness I am feeling now that I have you is more than one could ever ask for. Your beauty is so overwhelming I honestly feel like I'm under some sort of spell when I'm with you. Your shyness is really adorable and you are just amazing. I am glad you are mine"
This is a pretty usual thing with him, so it makes it really hard to break up with someone who feels this way about me. I still do really like him, and I want to continue talking to him, but I don't think we work as a couple, the pressure is making him more nervous and every time we are together its painfully awkward. I just think its more stress than it's worth. So my question is, how do I end things and still keep a friendship with him?
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I understand how awkward and frustrating it can be for you. I met a guy online dating who can talk up a storm with me. When we met first time in a coffeeshop, I asked are you Jack, He nodded. Did you order a coffee yet, he nodded. I asked a question that couldnt be answered yes or no. He shrugged. I couldn't get but 3 single words out of him in 20 mins of just my doing the talking for both of us. Since communication...verbal is important for a healthy relationship, it is a must that he learn to overcome his shyness. I would venture to guess that even tho he does talk to others, that he is still an introvert and more on the quiet side and not extremely talkative.
Just be honest with him and let him know that he is a very nice person but he has to get past his fear of speaking to you in person because you may not be available forever. He can keep in touch on FB as he has done but since you are ending your dating relationship, please keep the FB communications strictly to friendship stuff, not romantic thoughts. If he believes he has at any point overcome his fear of talking to you, you are leaving the door open for him to approach you in person to prove it. However, if another guy has asked you to date, you will not dump the guy to come back to him. If this doesn't light a fire under his butt, then know that you've done what you could and you don't have to feel any guilt over cutting it off with him
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If you don't like the relationship, you need to tell him. You need to tell him things are getting awkward in person and tell him that you guys should talk as just friends until you get more comfortable around each other.
A lot of young couples just start dating when they hardly know each other. You guys knew each other but you hardly hung out in person and that's a better way to build a friendship. So tell him that.
He'll most likely understand.
If you're saying you want to break up with him and you don't ever want to get back together with him, then just tell him that you'd rather be friends because of the awkwardness between the two of you. But friends is kind of a big word when there is feelings involved.
Because being friends means being ok with it even when you guys decide to date other people. You both will have to handle hearing about other people. So you'll have to be ok with the fact that he might need time with that.
So if you're ending it for good, don't expect it to go back to how it used to be. But eventually you'll be able to talk normally. So give it time because you guys seemed to click great as friends.
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you just said it your self sweety.. tell him how you feel and you dont think hes ready and tell him hes a nice guy and he says the sweetiest things to you but he cant do it in person.. ask him if he could try and work on that then you guys could try a relationship another time but to keep you guys together you think its best to be friends...
but.. other guys may flirt with you for all the wrong reasons so be carefull
good luck
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