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What to do when theirs no trust
I have been with my fiancé for quiet some time now and she just dosnt trust me. Like yesterday for instance I left my house like at 520pm I got to my parents house like at 550 pm and well I don't live with them anymore so I stayed a while besides my dad was helping me fix some things in the car . So it got pretty late like 9pm got home like at 930 and well like all this morning she's been giving me the silent treatment I mean I don't think that's right or even normal or what don't guys think
Advice please thanks
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Yes it could be mainly a trust issue. But I can think of another. If you are engaged to be married, communication is an important thing. So when you left did you tell her where you were going. If you did, great. If you didn't, next time tell her. Good communication is key to building trust. She is not a mind reader. Let her know what you are thinking. Okay next. Did you give her any idea how long you would be gone. If you said just to drop by for a short bit then when it got to about 7 730, it would have been courteous to call her and let her know you were okay and that dad is working on your car so it may be late before you get back. Now she doesn't have to worry about her fiance having been in some accident on the road. If you never gave a time, once there and deciding to hang around, just give a quick call and let her know you've decided to hang out the whole evening with dad and be home late. Then if you got home earlier, no problem. When you did get home, did you tell how how things went, maybe pieces of info of what's new in the life of the parents, what got fixed on your car. You might think this unimportant but when anyones mind has no info and is left to wonder, our minds can come up with all sorts of terrible scenerios. If she is giving you the silent treatment, well that is not the most mature way to handle how she is feeling. Better to let you know in a calm voice without any accusing how she felt. But I would daresay, that since she is upset and giving you the silent treatment, there's a good chance it was because you did not talk to her. When married, what happens in your day and in hers when you are apart is important to share. As she gets to know you and how yo think and conduct yourself in the world, she will begin to require less information because she just knows you and knows she can trust you. If she left the house early Saturday and didn't come back til in the evening without saying a word to you? Would that bother you? If it does, then you should know how she feels. If it wouldn't make you wonder where she was at, why she isnt with you or why she didnt invite you along, or you don't have any concern if she is okay, then maybe you better evaluate yourself whether you truly are in love with her or just love some things about her. For marriage, you're gonna need to be in love with her.
I assume that she is not the needy type who has no life of her own or you would know that by now and not be marrying her.
Now here's another scenerio, you get a quick call, its your sis inviting you and fiance to come to a barbecue this coming Saturday. You say, okay sweetie, will do. Your fiancee is either going to wonder who you called sweetie or ask. Most women don't want to have to ask and become nags. They would like their guy to tell her whats going on. So you say nothing to her about "That was my sister, she has invited us to a barbecue Saturday. She will wonder if you are cheating on her boldly in front of her and saying nothing. Dont give her mind a moments chance to start coming up with crazy thoughts. Maybe some people do it more than others but men do this too. It would be better if while on phone with sis, you say, hang on a minute, Hey darling, my sister is inviting us to a barbeque on Sat at 5pm. Is our calendar clear or do you have something you'll be doing. That is the best way of communicating. Without it, a marriage is doomed. Good luck
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I guess you should sit down with her and clear both the sides...whatever you are feeling and what she is feeling about you...
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Well, obviously the relationship won't work without trust. Since you've been together for so long, she should be able to trust you unless you have given her a reason not to.
So assuming you guys are generally happy together, talk to her. Sit down and talk to her. Don't start accusing her of doing something wrong. Just try to work with her. Ask her why she doesn't trust you. If she gives a legitimate reason, then find a way to fix it and work with it.
Maybe she was upset because you didn't call and tell her you'd be out late? It's not right of her to give you the silent treatment and not explain why she's unhappy.
So talk to her, find out why she feels the way she does and try to work with it. Don't fight, argue, or point fingers, just talk it out.
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i think you can help her by learning her to trust you cause there's no point of a marriage with no trust and its perfectly normal for you to miss your parents and visit them she can either start going with you and seeing you doing nothing wrong or she must stop complaining or in your case the silent treatment.
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