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Help in asking her out


Question Posted Thursday May 2 2013, 1:55 pm

Hi there, so i really like this girl and i think its time i asked her out. But the thing is that i've asked 3 girls out before(I asked one of them in a note, another of them i choked and my friend told her, and the last one i asked her out on Facebook.) and i've been rejected all of them. How do i get the guts to ask her out in a proper way, and im really scared to get rejected once more.

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Additional info, added Friday May 3 2013, 9:41 am:
She is also a pretty good friend... so were the girls before..

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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


lightoftruth answered Friday May 3 2013, 6:11 pm:
Well I'm glad you want to ask her out properly rather than hide behind a computer or paper.

I wish you had listed your age, it's hard to give advice not knowing how old you are.
I'm just going to assume you are young, like teenage years.
Most young girls won't say yes to a guy they don't know. That's why when you're younger, it's better to be friends first. When you're older, it's easier to ask them out to dinner or something to get to know them and see if you really are interested.
Now, if the girl says no even if she knows you, that just means she's plainly not interested.

So since you are already friends with her, all you have to do is ask her out.
Almost every guy is afraid of rejection. You aren't alone. It takes courage to ask a girl out. Rejection is a part of life, not everyone is going to want to go out with you but if you don't do it, you'll never know if she actually would have.

My advice is to first ask her to hang out. Like go see a movie, or some other activity like bowling, skating, ect.
That way is so much better because you'll know if she is interested in you more than just a friend. And if you get rejected, you only got rejected by asking her to hang out.

So the only part you really need to work on is to get past the fear of rejection. Once you get the courage, you will be able to ask her out.

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kittenlover2000 answered Friday May 3 2013, 10:38 am:
By the way '1' is the rating given only if advise is abusive-so you shouldn't have given it to the user below.

I think the key here is to not be so scared of rejection. See it as a positive-she may not want you, but if she doesn't find you as relationship material she's actually doing you a favour-not even bothering, which means you can find the perfect girl sooner.

If she's a good friend then you're half way there.I think make sure she's on her own, and be sure to ask her yourself and in person.
When you ask her keep your expectations low and spirits high, and it wont be as bad as it seems, no matter what the outcome.
Have you tried talking to her friends? Or perhaps trying to spot signs she likes you back? This could help build your confidence to.

Remember, you've put her on a throne because you want to be with her...but she's just a normal girl. Relax about it-not many girls at all would stand and laugh at you.

The worst that could happen is she says 'no', and as has been discussed, that isn't all that bad.

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Dragonflymagic answered Thursday May 2 2013, 9:54 pm:
Have you thought of the possibility of just befriending a girl before officially asking her out. The girls don't know you as anyone other than the face and name of another classmate. Maybe a couple guys have the looks to get girls to say yes. But many really nice guys get overlooke or rejected because she doesnt know you yet.
You dont go on dates to get to know a girl. You ask if you can be her friend...just friend..like one of the guys so no sex at first. If you have a sister, Mother, aunt, female cousin...how do you talk to them and what do you talk about. These are people who you wont be asking out on dates and certainly not hoping to have sex with later. So treat the girl you like special. Have her over to your house just like you have the guy friends over. Let her get to be comfortable hanging with the family as just your friend and let it naturally turn into a dating relationship as time goes by. Do you have any hobbies, skateboardng or videos of you as a little kid soap box derbying. Whats her favorite food and see if mom will make that sometime when she comes to dinner at your house. I told my girls to start out by just having friends who were boys, not boyfriends because that term makes us think of a dating relationship. Think of how much fun you will have being able to hang out with a girl like that. There is no better way than that to understand how a female thinks and her emotions and what she needs and likes. You'll be ahead of the other guys if you use this plan. When a guy and gal who are having fun as friends spend alot of time together, the natural draw to hug, hold hands and kiss will come. Thats the time to ask to go on a date...a good one is the school dances. The trick at first will be to finding a girl willing to be a friend. But once you have one girl willing to be a friend, all the other girls will show interest in being your friend too. They want to learn what a boy is all about and you will be a good candidate. They may even ask you questions to help them understand a particular guy better. I had all girls. But I have a nephew who was like that in school. He listened to mom and made friends with the girls first. He ended up not having to ask any of them out, they ended up asking him. He probably had as many friends who were female as those who were male.
Take the stress off yourself of being rejected from asking out and just work the friendship angle.

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